A clever but bad Christmas jokes is one of the best ways to bring your whole family together over the holiday season.
These silly Christmas jokes will crack you up in the best way possible.
You can use these bad christmas jokes in order to make your friends and family laugh too, as these are for people of all ages.
Table of Contents
Bad Dad Christmas Jokes
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
“Crisp Pringles.”
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house!”
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
“Saint-nickel-less.”
Related: Holiday Dad Jokes
Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
“Because every single buck is dear to him!”
What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
“A Christmas quacker.”
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”
Bad Christmas Pun Jokes
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
What do you call a snowman in summer?
“A puddle.”
Who’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
“Patty O’Furniture.”
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
“Sleigh, what?!”
“Everything looks tree-mendous with all the presents wrapped up.”
What nationality is Santa Claus?
“North Polish.”
Related: Funny Christmas Puns
What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
“Wrap.”
What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
“By live stream.”
Where do sharks go on vacation?
“Finland.”
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
“Rude-olph.”
“The snuggle is real.”
“I love you from head to mistletoe.”
“You’re sleigh-in’ it.”
Related: Christmas Trivia Printable Multiple Choice
“Watching people unwrap gifts has me feeling so Santa-mental.”
“A round of Santa-plause for whoever got me this cute gift.”
“Don’t fir-get to get me something for Christmas.”
Bad Taste Christmas Cracker Jokes
What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
“A cariboo.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
“Frostbite.”
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
“The elf-abet.”
What do snowmen call their offspring?
“Chill-dren.”
What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
Related: Christmas Cracker Jokes
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
“An abdominal snowman.”
“I love my gifts snow much.”
“I’m an elf-taught gift wrapper.”
“It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.”
“Love at frost sight!”
“Make it rein.”
“Sleigh queen, sleigh.”
“It’s lit.”
“How rude-olf of you.”
What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”
What is the best Christmas present?
“A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.”
Related: Corny Christmas Jokes
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house.”
What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
“A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”
What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
“This one’s gonna sleigh you!”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
“Subordinate clauses.”
Bad Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
Wow, you’re really excited about Christmas!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa Christmas card to you. Did you get it?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Avery.
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas to you!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Chris.
Chris who?
Christmas is here!
Related: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes Dirty Edition
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Christmastime, don’t you?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Christmas. You too?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Oakham.
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful…
Bad Christmas Tree Jokes
“The best of all gifts around the Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family wrapped up in each other.”
“O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How lovely are your branches!”
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
“You know it’s winter when the tree is the only light in the room.”
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!”
Related: Best Christmas Tree Puns
“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!”
“Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift.”
“From little seeds grow mighty trees.”
Really Bad Christmas Jokes
“Subordinate clauses.”
“You snow the drill.”
“Up to snow good.”
“Best in snow.”
“Let’s take an elfie.”
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
“Fleece Navidad.”
Related: Inappropriate Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
“Claustrophobia.”
What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
“This one’s gonna sleigh you!”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
“I’m elf-taught.”
“Don’t be elfish.”
“He’s an elf-made man.”
“She has high elf-esteem.”
If you enjoyed reading these bad Christmas jokes, then you should check out our other blogs as well.
Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.
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