70+ Best Chuck Norris Jokes | Dirty | Quotes 2022

Only a few celebrities have the aura to inspire such a big fanbase, as much as Chuck Norris did.

He is known for his roundhouse kicks all around the world.

But apart from this tough guy persona, he is also famous among the youth for inspiring memes and jokes.

Here in this blog, we have compiled Chuck Norris memes, jokes, and trivia for you and your friends.

Pick suitable corny and dirty jokes to have a fun time making everyone laugh around you with these Chuck Norris jokes.

Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.”

“Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.”

“If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.”

“Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.”

“In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.”

“When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.””

“Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.”

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“If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.”

“The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.”

“Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.”

“Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.”

“If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.”

“Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.””

“Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.”

Chuck Norris Quotes

Chuck Norris Quotes

“The only time you lose at something is when you don’t learn from that experience.”

“There is no finish line. When you reach one goal, find a new one.”

“A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can’t do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.”

“You are not what has happened to you. You are what you choose to become.”

“Whatever luck I had, I made. I was never a natural athlete, but I paid my dues in sweat and concentration and took the time necessary to learn karate and become world champion.”

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”

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“As the adage goes, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me…”

“A lot of people give up just before they’re about to make it. You know you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one.”

“Some of the most miserable people I know are some of the richest people in America, they are the most miserable individuals I’ve ever seen.”

Top 10 Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes Top 10

“Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.”

“Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.”

“Chuck Norris makes onions cry.”

“Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.”

“When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.”

“Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.”

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“Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.”

“Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.”

“Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.”

“Chuck Norris can drown a fish.”

“Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.”

Best Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes Best

“Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.”

“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.”

“There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.”

“The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.”

“Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.”

“If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.”

“On the 7th day, God rested … Chuck Norris took over.”

“Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.”

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“Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.”

“Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.”

“If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.”

“Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.”

“Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!””

“Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.”

“Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.”

“Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.”

“Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.”

“Chuck Norris can speak Braille.”

“Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.”

“Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.”

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“Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.”

“Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”

“The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors.”

“Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.”

“Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.”

“When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.”

“When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.”

“It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.”

We hope these Chuck Norris jokes helped you impress your friends, so have fun.

Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, trivia, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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