Coronavirus pandemic has affected all of us and created an atmosphere of negativity.
Therefore, humor is an essential coping tool for surviving tough times.
And laughter literally makes us stronger therefore these covid jokes give us and others strength in adversity.
In recent studies, a good laugh can boost our dopamine levels and that can help in improving immune systems.
So read and share with others these funny jokes on coronavirus and quarantine to help you and others laugh and boost immune systems.
Table of Contents
Covid Jokes One-Liners 2023
Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
“It’s a long story…”
What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
“A glass of wine in each hand!”
“If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die. I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me.”
“Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.”
“They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on.”
“With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.”
“A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says “I’ll have a Corona please, hold the virus.”
“Thinking a mask is going to stop Covid-19 is the same as thinking that your underpants will protect everyone from a fart.”
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“Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.”
“Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.”
Covid Jokes For The Office 2023
What’s the best part of teaching your children at home?
“You can’t be fired for drinking on the job.”
What’s the worst part of homeschooling?
“You can’t transfer students out of your class.”
What’s the difference between working from home and working in an office?
“30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.”
“I like to wrap myself in a blanket when I work from home. You could say I now work undercover.”
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically.”
How do people in the navy work from home?
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“Anyone else keep finding themselves in the kitchen without any idea how they got there?”
“Me: I have a zoom meeting later.”
“My cat: Oh, me too”
“Ahhhh… 9 a.m.… time to change my night pajamas into day pajamas”
Covid Jokes Dark Humor 2023
Why hasn’t anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19?
“They’re so ice-o-lated.”
What did the barista call her face mask?
“A coughy filter.”
Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke?
“It flu over his head.”
“Yeah, I have plans tonight. I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.”
“I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.”
You know who buys up all the toilet paper?
“The greatest part about working from home is not wearing a bra.”
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“The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.”
“People have been spending more time at home reading short books. Apparently it’s all because of the novella coronavirus.”
“My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.”
Covid Jokes For Doctors 2023
Did you hear the joke about the germ?
“Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.”
What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke?
Husband: “The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
Wife: “And did he?”
Husband: “Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.”
What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
“Time to get your booster shot!”
Why do surgeons wear masks?
So no one will recognize them when they make a mistake.
“I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.”
“The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.”
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
“For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment.”
“Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade.”
“Don’t panic, I’m coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?”
“Yea, I shaved with the electric razor.”
“A man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
Man: Will I be all right, doc?
Doctor: You are in grave danger — Mercury is in Uranus.
Man: I don’t buy into that astrology nonsense!
Doctor: Neither do I. My thermometer broke.
Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to open you back up.
Patient: Are you kidding me?! Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!
Coronavirus Knock Knock Jokes 2023
you’re supposed to be social distancing.”
Ache Ache Who?
Sorry I Did Not Know You Have The Coronavirus.”
Best Covid Jokes 2023
What did the single guy say to the single woman during a lockdown?
“If COVID doesn’t take you out, can I?”
What did one novel coronavirus say to the other?
“Oh, the places you’ll see.”
How does COVID travel?
What’s the difference between the Alpha and Delta variant?
“I don’t know; it’s all Greek to me.”
“During the pandemic, it’s important to take after NASA. Give people space.”
What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19?
“It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.”
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Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch?
“Mac and sneeze.”
“Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.”
Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
“They’re in bad taste.”