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Funny Christmas Animal Jokes 2023
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing – it was on the house.”
What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
“Get out of my face.”
How did the bauble know that she was addicted to Christmas?
“She’d been hooked on Christmas trees all her life.”
What do you call a blind reindeer?
What do you call a blind reindeer with no legs?
“Still no-eye deer.”
How did Scrooge win the football game?
“The Ghost of Christmas passed.”
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital?
“Because of his poor elf.”
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
“They’re always dropping their needles.”
Related: Short Holiday Sayings
Why did the red-nosed reindeer help the old lady cross the road?
“It would have been Rudolph him not to.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
“Because they were two deer.”
Why did the turkey join the rock band?
“Because it had drumsticks.”
How did the reindeer learn to play the piano?
“He was elf-taught.”
Why did Mrs. Claus insist Santa take an umbrella?
“Because of the rain, dear.”
What could you call an elf who has just won the lottery?
Did you know that Santa actually only had two reindeer?
“Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer).”
Related: Funny Christmas Carol Jokes
Who tells the best Christmas jokes?
“Reindeer. They sleigh every time.”
One Liner Dog Christmas Puns | Jokes 2023
Here are some of the best holiday dog puns and jokes on Christmas animals. Pick suitable Christmas dog jokes that include one liners and share.
Did anyone water the Christmas tree?
“I did!” exclaimed the dog.”
How do Chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
How do dogs decorate for Christmas?
“They deck the paws with bows of collie.”
What do you do when it’s raining cats and dogs?
“Nothing, as long as it doesn’t reindeer.”
Why was the dog upset about the Christmas tree?
“He’s not even allowed to bring sticks into the house.”
What did the dog put on his Christmas list?
“Nothing, dogs can’t write.”
What do you call a wet dog with a bell on his collar?
Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
Related: Best Christmas Jokes For The Office
What did the dog say to the Christmas tree?
How do dogs sing Jingle Bells?
“Dachshund through the snow…”
How do Chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
“No, you can have turkey like everyone else !”
Animal Christmas Cracker Jokes 2023
What do elephants sing at Christmas?
What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
“A polar bare!”
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
Why don’t penguins fly?
“Because they’re too short to be pilots!”
Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?
“No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.”
What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
“Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!”
What is the best key to get at Christmas?
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
“A merry Christmas to ewe!”
What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
What kind of bird can write?
Related: Funny Early Christmas Jokes
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
“Because it’s too far to walk!”
Where do polar bears go to vote?
“At the North Poll”
What do sheep say to Santa?
What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?
“Anything, he can’t hear you!”
What’s the most boring animal?
“A polar bore!”
What sort of insects love snow?
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
“The turkey – he’s always stuffed!”
What bird has wings but cannot fly?
Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
“That must have cost a fortune!” I said.
“Actually I got it for a poultry amount,” she said.
Related: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
“Look at the labels!”
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
“It was looking forward to Christmas!”
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
“Deep pan, crisp and even!”
Christmas Animal One Liner Jokes 2023
“Hoppy Holidays, all!”
“I love bear-ing gifts”
“Kiss under the mistletoad”
“Have a bear-y Christmas”
“Owl be home for Christmas.”
“Sending Christmas Fishes”
“Fa La La La La, La La Llama.”
All I want for Christmas is ewe.”
Related: Christmas One Liners Jokes
“Dachshund through the snow.”
“Have a Christmas like no otter.”
“We fish you a merry Christmas.”
“Whale you kiss me under the mistletoe?”
“It’s penguining to look a lot like Christmas.”
“Thanks for bearing with me this holiday season.”
“Wishin you a dyno-mite Christmas and a roarin’ new year!”
Dog Christmas Puns Instagram 2023
“Spending Christmas with the most festive little dude in town.”
“Pawsitively the most festive puppy I ever did see.”
“Thick coat made for snow playin’ and warm huggin.'”
“May your days be snuggly and bright.”
“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.” — Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
“We woof you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.”
“Barking all the way to the North Pole!”
“Deck the paws!”
“Santa Paws is coming to town!”
“I’m dreaming of a woof Christmas…”
“Happy Paw-lidays from the [insert name] family!”
“Such a Merry Christmas with my right Hound man.”
“Wishing you all a collar-ful Christmas!”
“Paw-sitively the best Christmas ever.”
“Bone appetit from us and [insert dog name]!”
I hope these Christmas animal jokes and puns are a fun activity on the Christmas eve dinner or party with kids and adults.