120+ Best Christmas Dad Jokes | Clean | Corny | Xmas | Horrible 2024

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Christmas is a magical time as you get to spend quality time as well as the presents from your friends, family, and relatives.

To add more joy to your holiday, here I have compiled some of the best Christmas dad jokes 2024 clean & horrible editions to keep the kids laughing around you.

These jokes on Christmas include clean and corny Christmas jokes on Dad to share over text or use at Christmas Eve dinner.

Pick your favorite memes and riddles from dad Christmas jokes and trivia below and have a fun time with the kids. Enjoy!

Corny Dad Christmas Jokes 2024

Here are some of the best dad Christmas jokes that are corny to make everyone laugh out loud. Pick suitable ones from the list of best Christmas dad jokes below.

Corny Dad Christmas Jokes

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
“The elf-abet.”

Corny Dad Jokes On Christmas

What do snowmen call their offspring?

Best Dad Christmas Jokes

What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”

Corny Christmas Dad Jokes

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
“An abdominal snowman.”

Dad Christmas Jokes

What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”

How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
“He was hooked on trees his whole life.”

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
“Subordinate clauses.”

What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
“Fleece Navidad.”

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
“This one’s gonna sleigh you!”

What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
“Silent Night.”

Related: Funny Christmas Quotes For Bright Spirits Until New Year

Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?
“Because he had low elf-esteem.”

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
“He was searching for some holiday spirit.”

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
“Saint Nickel-less.”

Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
“Because the present’s beneath them.”

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?

What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
“Because it soots him.”

What do you call a snowman that can walk?

What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?

Where does santa keep all his money?
“At the snow bank.”

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
“The Christmas alphabet has No-el.”

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
“A Holly Davidson!”

Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
“He has a black belt.”

Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
“Santa Jaws.”

Related: Christmas Jokes For Kids Printable

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
“Crisp Pringles.”

How did Scrooge win the football game?
“The ghost of Christmas passed.”

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
“They always drop their needles.”

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
“Nice gnawing you.”

Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?
“He was elf-taught.”

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
“Elf-is Presley.”

Why don’t reindeer like picnics?
“Because of all their ant-lures.”

What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
“Is it going to rain, dear?”

Related: Elf On The Shelf Jokes

What do elves post on Social Media?

Why can’t penguins fly?
“They’re not tall enough to be pilots.”

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?
“A Mistle-toad.”

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
“Krisp Kringle.”

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
“A mince spy.”

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
“One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.”

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
“Santa Clues!”

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”

How you can tell that Santa is real?
“You can always sense his presents.”

What is Santa’s nationality?
“He’s North Pole-ish”

How does Santa take photos?
“With a Pole-aroid camera, of course.”

Related: Short Christmas Jokes & Riddles

Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?
“He has private elf care.”

What does Santa eat for breakfast?
“Frosted Flakes”

Clean Christmas Dad Jokes 2024

Clean Christmas Dad Jokes

What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
“The Who!”

Clean Dad Jokes

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
“He got 25 days!”

Christmas Dad Jokes Clean

“A book never written: How to Decorate a Tree, by Orna Ment.”

Dad Jokes Clean image

What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”

Christmas Dad Jokes Printable

What do fish sing during the holidays?
“Christmas corals.”

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
“He pulled a cracker!”

Where do polar bears vote?
“The North Poll!”

Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
“A Christmas Quacker!”

Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
“Because every single buck is dear to him!”

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
“Santa walking backwards!”

Related: Funny Christmas Jokes For Family

What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
“Crisp Pringles.”

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
“He was picking his nose!”

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”

Why does Santa have three gardens?
“So he can ‘ho ho ho’!”

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house!”

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
“A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!”

How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
“Nurse them back to elf.”

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
“Ice caps!”

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”

What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!”

What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
“Because it soot’s him.”

What’s the difference between Santa and a knight?
“One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.”

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
“It needed to be trimmed!”

What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?

Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager?
“She couldn’t run a stable government!”

How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
“He uses Comet.”

What is Santa’s favorite pizza?
“One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!”

What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?
“Blitzen-krieg Bop.”

“I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.”

What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?

Related: New Years Jokes

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
“No Brussels.”

What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?

Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year?
“It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.”

What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?
“A dependent Claus.”

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.”

Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner, and always wet?
“Because they are rain deer.”

“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.”

“I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing.”

Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
“Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.”

What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
“St. O’Claus!”

When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
“Sandy Claus”

“The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.”

Related: New Years Dad Jokes

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
“Crisp Kringle.”

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
“Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.”

What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
“Oh caaamel ye faithful.”

What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
“Santa’s shadow!”

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
“The turkey—he’s always stuffed!”

How do you scare a snowman?
“Grab a hairdryer!”

Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
“Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!”

Christian Christmas Dad Jokes | Horrible 2024

Christian Christmas Dad Jokes

How does Santa Claus take a picture?
“With a North Pole-roid.”

horrible christmas dad jokes

What do you call the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents?
“A Christ-MESS”

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
“He keeps a log book.”

Why are Santa’s deers always wet?
“Because they’re reindeers!”

Which of Santa’s reindeers has the worst manners?

Who’s Santa’s favourite pop star?

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

What do elves sing to Santa?
“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow”

How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey?
“On the dark side”

How do we know what Father Christmas has for dinner?
“He posts it on InSantagram”

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
“You get tinsel-itus”

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
“A Christmas quacker”

What do the elves call it when Santa claps his hands at the end of a performance?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw the thunderstorm?
“Looks like rain-deer.”

I hope you have found these Christmas dad jokes that are funny enough to spread joy for Christmas cheer.

Moreover, check out these jokes, memes, and riddles on food, love and animal to get more ideas that suit different moods and situations.

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