Christmas is a magical time as you get to spend quality time as well as the presents from your friends, family, and relatives.
Take a look below to pick your favorite memes and riddles from Christmas jokes below and have a fun time playing with the kids. Enjoy!
Corny Dad Christmas Jokes 2022
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
What do snowmen call their offspring?
What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
“An abdominal snowman.”
What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
“He was hooked on trees his whole life.”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
“This one’s gonna sleigh you!”
What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?
“Because he had low elf-esteem.”
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
“He was searching for some holiday spirit.”
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
“Because the present’s beneath them.”
Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
“Because it soots him.”
What do you call a snowman that can walk?
What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Where does santa keep all his money?
“At the snow bank.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
“The Christmas alphabet has No-el.”
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
“A Holly Davidson!”
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
“He has a black belt.”
Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
Related: Christmas Jokes For Kids Printable
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
How did Scrooge win the football game?
“The ghost of Christmas passed.”
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
“They always drop their needles.”
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
“Nice gnawing you.”
Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?
“He was elf-taught.”
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Why don’t reindeer like picnics?
“Because of all their ant-lures.”
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
“Is it going to rain, dear?”
Related: Elf On The Shelf Jokes
What do elves post on Social Media?
Why can’t penguins fly?
“They’re not tall enough to be pilots.”
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
“A mince spy.”
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
“One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.”
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
How you can tell that Santa is real?
“You can always sense his presents.”
What is Santa’s nationality?
“He’s North Pole-ish”
How does Santa take photos?
“With a Pole-aroid camera, of course.”
Related: Short Christmas Jokes & Riddles
Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?
“He has private elf care.”
What does Santa eat for breakfast?
Clean Christmas Dad Jokes 2022
What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
“He got 25 days!”
“A book never written: How to Decorate a Tree, by Orna Ment.”
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
What do ﬁsh sing during the holidays?
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
“He pulled a cracker!”
Where do polar bears vote?
“The North Poll!”
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
“A Christmas Quacker!”
Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
“Because every single buck is dear to him!”
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
“Santa walking backwards!”
Related: Funny Christmas Jokes For Family
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
“He was picking his nose!”
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”
Why does Santa have three gardens?
“So he can ‘ho ho ho’!”
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house!”
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
“A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!”
How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
“Nurse them back to elf.”
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!”
Related: Corny Christmas Jokes, Puns
What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
“Because it soot’s him.”
What’s the difference between Santa and a knight?
“One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.”
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
“It needed to be trimmed!”
What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?
Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager?
“She couldn’t run a stable government!”
How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
“He uses Comet.”
What is Santa’s favorite pizza?
“One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!”
What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?
“I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.”
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What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?
Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year?
“It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.”
What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?
“A dependent Claus.”
“Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.”
Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner, and always wet?
“Because they are rain deer.”
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.”
“I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing.”
Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
“Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.”
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
“The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.”
Related: Christmas Movie Quotes
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
“Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.”
What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
“Oh caaamel ye faithful.”
What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
“The turkey—he’s always stuffed!”
How do you scare a snowman?
“Grab a hairdryer!”
Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
“Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!”
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