The holiday season is the best time of the year, especially Christmas.
Everything about Christmas time is amazing because you get to spend holiday time with your loved ones.
Therefore here are some of the funny and smart Christmas jokes, riddles, and Christmas one liners quotes to spread joy with people in your communities.
Moreover, you can use funny Christmas jokes to bring more laughter this festive season for the entire family.
Or, use them as Christmas quotes to write cute Christmas notes on greeting cards or share over text with others.
Pick suitable jokes on Christmas 2024 to share them with others at work or people in your communities. Enjoy!
Table of Contents
Short Christmas Jokes 2024 That Are Actually Funny
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
“Santa Jaws!”
How does Christmas Day end?
“With the letter Y!”
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
“The elf-abet!”
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
“A Holly Davidson!”
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
“He pulled a cracker!”
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
“A Christmas Quacker!”
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
“He was picking his nose!”
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
“Ice caps!”
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
“The One Show!”
How did Scrooge win the football game?
“The ghost of Christmas passed!”
Related: Christmas Jokes For Kids
What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
“Twerky!”
What does Santa do with out of shape elves?
“Sends them to an elf Farm.”
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
“Because he had a low “elf” esteem!”
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
“A mince spy!”
How do snowmen get around?
“They ride an icicle!”
What do snowmen have for breakfast?
“Snowflakes!”
What did Santa say to the smoker?
“Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!”
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
“Tinsilitis!”
What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
“A mistle-toad!”
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
“Icebergers!”
When is a boat just like snow?
“When it’s adrift!”
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
“Santa Clues!”
What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents?
“Idaho-ho-ho!”
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
“Elf-is Presley!”
How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
“On the dark side!”
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
“Jungle bells!”
Related: Clean Christmas Jokes And Puns
What is white and minty?
“A polo bear!”
What cars do elves drive?
“Toyotas!”
What is Santa’s primary language?
“North Polish.”
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
“A lost clause!”
Funny Christmas Puns One Liners | Jokes 2024
These are funny Christmas puns one-liners to use at Christmas Eve parties as icebreakers. Pick your favorite funny Christmas jokes one liners.
“All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.”
“Let’s have a jingle ball tonight!”
“Resting Grinch face.”
“What’s up, my Grinches.”
“I’m a gangsta wrappa”
“She my wrap queen, let her hit the bando”
“But wait—there’s myrrh.”
“Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.”
“The Christmas alphabet has noel.”
“Your presents is requested.”
“Yule be sorry.”
“A round of Santa-plause.”
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
“Claus allll of me… loves all of you”
“I’m Claus-trophobic.”
“Rebel without a Claus.”
Related: Funny Christmas Jokes For Family
“Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.”
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
“Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer”
“That is termination without Claus”
“That look soots you.”
“You were heaven-santa”
“You’re my soul Santa.”
Believe in your elf.”
“Don’t be elfish.”
Related: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
“Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!”
“Do you know your elfabet?”
“Get the elf out of here”
“Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
“He’s an elf-made man.”
Smart Christmas Jokes And Riddles 2024
These are smart Christmas jokes and riddles to share with friends and kids to have a fun activity at Christmas Eve dinner or party!
What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa?
“Santa flies at least once a year!”
Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree?
“Because people kept saying “moron” to him!”
What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker?
“Pays her off!”
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
“Because they were two deer!”
What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
“Elfis.”
Where does Santa keep all his money?
“At the local snow bank.”
Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
“Because they’re shell-fish.”
What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
“Silent Night.”
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
“Santa Pause.”
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
“Tinsil-itis!”
What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
“A chill pill.”
What should you give your parents at Christmas?
“A list of what you want.”
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
“Elephanta Claus.”
Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
“It had no legs.”
What does Jack Frost like best about school?
“Snow and tell.”
Related: Dirty Christmas Jokes Pick Up Lines
What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
“A snowball.”
What did one snowman say another snowman?
“You’re cool.”
How do chickens dance at a Christmas party?
“Chick to chick.”
What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
“Snow!”
What kind of photos do elves take?
“Elfies!”
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
“Claus-trophobia!”
How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
“He uses Comet.”
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
“No Brussels.”
What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?
“Present.”
What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
“Santa’s shadow!”
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
“The turkey—he’s always stuffed!”
Related: Christmas Dad Jokes
How do you scare a snowman?
“Grab a hairdryer!”
What do snowmen call their offspring?
“Chill-dren”
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
“Because it soots him!”
What do the elves cook with in the kitchen?
“Utinsels!”
What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?
“Christmas chopping!”
What do sheep say at Christmas?
“A Merry Christmas to Ewe!”
What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
“Auld Fang Syne!”
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
“Quit hanging around!”
Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree?
“It was afraid of the bark.”
What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
“A cari-boo.”
What do you call a broke Santa?
“Saint Nickel-less”
What do fish sing during the holidays?
“Christmas corals.”
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
“Ornamints.”
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
“Crisp Pringles.”
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”
Why does Santa have three gardens?
“So he can ‘ho ho ho’!”
Related: Elf On The Shelf Jokes
What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”
What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?
“Yule-Tide.”
When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
“Sandy Claus”
Belly Laugh Christmas Jokes And Puns 2024
Here are some of the best belly laugh Christmas jokes and puns to share at Christmas Eve dinner or party for fun.
Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time?
“Home Alone.”
How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas?
“It’ll take ages to flatten the curve.”
Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop?
“Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!”
How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year’s staff Christmas party?
“Put him on mute.”
Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
“They have herd immunity.”
Where does mistletoe go to get famous?
“Hollywood!”
What happened to the thief who stole an advent calendar?
“He got 25 days!”
Why does everyone like snowmen?
“Because they’re so cool!”
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
“The Christmas alphabet has Noel!”
When does a reindeer have a trunk?
“When it goes on vacation!”
Related: Funny Dirty Christmas Memes
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
“A humbug!”
What does Santa use to measure?
“Santameters!”
What are elves allergic to?
“Sh-elf-ish!”
Why is Santa so jolly?
“Because he knows where all the toys are!”
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
“A cookie sheet!”
What’s a ghost’s favorite Christmas story?
“The Fright Before Christmas!”
What does Santa get at the donut shop?
“A jolly roll!”
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
“A cold!”
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
“Because he wanted to see time fly!”
What is Santa’s dog’s name?
“Santa Paws!”
Where do reindeer go to buy new tails?
“The retail store!”
Related: Christmas Riddles For Adults
Why is it always cold on Christmas?
“Because it’s Decembrrrr!”
What’s Santa’s favorite snack?
“Crisp Pringles!”
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
“In the dictionary!”
What do snowmen say to one another in the morning?
“Have an ice day!”
What type of dog do you get for the holidays?
“A pointsetter!”
What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
“Ice Krispy treats!”
Clean Christmas Jokes And Puns In The Holiday Spirit 2024
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
“He was hooked on trees his whole life.”
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
“Because he had very low elf esteem.”
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house!”
Related: Rude Christmas Jokes
How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
“Nurse them back to elf.”
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!”
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
“Wrap.”
What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
“A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
“He was searching for some holiday spirit.”
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
“He had no body to go with.”
Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
“Because the present’s beneath them.”
Related: Christmas Movie Quotes
Why is Santa so good at karate?
“Cause he’s got a black belt.”
What part of the body do you only see around Christmas?
“The mistletoe.”
How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
“Fleece Navidad.”
What do you call a snowman that can walk?
“Snow-mobile.”
What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas?
“Unwrap.”
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
“Mistletoad.”
Christmas One Liners Puns For Instagram Captions 2024
“Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!”
“Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”
“Hey Christmas Tree, you got a lot of balls coming in here dressed like that.”
“Shouldn’t you be on top of the tree, Angel?”
“Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.”
“If i was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you.”
“You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.”
Related: Flirty Christmas One Liners Pick Up Lines
“I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.”
“You came, you ate, now please just go HO HO Home.”
“Are you Christmas, because I want to Merry you.”
“Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.”
“That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!”
“Is your name Jingle Bells, cause you look like you go all the way”
“Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, “Go back to work!”
“Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.”
“If you’ve seen one Santa, you’ve seen a mall.”
“I’m elf-taught.”
Related: Inappropriate Christmas Jokes
“Let’s get elf-ed up.”
“Let’s take an elfie.”
“My favorite rock star is Elf-is Presley.”
“She has high elf-esteem.”
“Treat yo’elf”
“When I think about, I touch my elf”
“Just hanging with my ornaments.”
“We have great chemis-tree.”
“Your decorations look treemendous.”
I hope you have found these Christmas jokes and puns, riddles, and one lines joyful enough to share with your friends and family.
Moreover, you can check out these jokes and puns on food, animals, love, and holiday for more ideas to write cute Christmas greetings for cards or online.
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