Pick suitable clean jokes on Christmas that include short and long ones.
Have fun and merry Christmas..!!!
Table of Contents
Christmas Jokes For Adults Clean Edition
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house!”
What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”
Related: Dirty Santa Jokes | Naughty List
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
“By live stream.”
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
What do you call a snowman in summer?
Who’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
Where do sharks go on vacation?
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
“Because every single buck is dear to him!”
Related: Inappropriate Christmas Jokes
What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
“A Christmas quacker.”
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
Clean Christmas Jokes For Church
“Young Eddie was spending Christmas with his grand parents. On Christmas morning the family went to church. While they were waiting to go in Eddie checked all the announcements, and pictures along the walls. When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby verger, ‘Who are all those men in the pictures?’
The verger replied, ‘Why, those are our boys who died in the service’. Dumbfounded, the Jonathan asked, ‘Was that the carol service or the Christmas Day service?’”
“Just after Christmas Father Michael, was walking along the pavement in front of his church when he heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son, Rory, and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and some cotton wool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
Rory, the minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’”
Related: Funny Christmas Movie Quotes
“After the Advent church service, eight year old Lee said to the preacher: ‘When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.’
‘Well, thank you, ‘the preacher replied, ‘but why?’
‘Because my father says that you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.’”
Long Christmas Jokes Clean Edition
“I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing.”
What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
“When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.”
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
“They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.”
Short Christmas Jokes | Clean
“You snow the drill.”
“Don’t be elfish.”
“He’s an elf-made man.”
“She has high elf-esteem.”
Related: Rude Christmas Jokes
“Up to snow good.”
“Best in snow.”
“Let’s take an elfie.”
“I love my gifts snow much.”
“I’m an elf-taught gift wrapper.”
“It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.”
“Love at frost sight!”
“Make it rein.”
“Sleigh queen, sleigh.”
“How rude-olf of you.”
Christmas Tree Jokes Clean Version
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
“You know it’s winter when the tree is the only light in the room.”
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”
“Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift.”
“From little seeds grow mighty trees.”
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!”
“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!”
“The best of all gifts around the Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family wrapped up in each other.”
“O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How lovely are your branches!”
Clean Christian Christmas Jokes
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
“Samson because he brought the house down.”
“Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!”
“The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.”
Tonight’s sermon: ‘What is hell?’
“Come early and listen to our carol practice.”
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
“When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.”
We hope you enjoyed these Christmas jokes clean edition and have a fun time you can even share them with people around you as well.