Finding good simple jokes might be challenging since some are overly complex and others are too simple!
That is the reason why we have collected these humorous corny jokes for adults.
Moreover, these range from one-liners to adult jokes, which will have you ready to make people laugh at any time!
These include short, long, smart, funny jokes and pick up lines to up your flirting game as well.
Pick suitable corny jokes, memes, and riddles that are flirty and dirty as well.
Take a look below and enjoy!
Table of Contents
Corny Jokes For Adults
What do you get from a pampered cow?
“Spoiled milk.”
“I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away.”
Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
“You shouldn’t press your luck.”
How do you make a pool table laugh?
“Tickle its balls.”
Why don’t lobsters like to share?
“They’re shellfish.”
What job did the frog have at the hotel?
“Bellhop.”
“A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.”
What chain can you eat?
“A food chain.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
“Ground beef.”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
“Because she outgrew her B-shells!”
Which school subject was the witch’s favorite?
“Spelling.”
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
“A rip-off!”
Where do polar bears keep their money?
“In a snowbank.”
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
“A private tutor!”
What do you call an angry carrot?
“A steamed veggie.”
How do you make an egg-roll?
“You push it!”
What did the leper say to the sex worker?
“Keep the tip.”
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“Did you hear about the sensitive burglar. He takes things personally.”
What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls?
“A white Christmas!”
Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
“Because people are dying to get in.”
Short Jokes For Adults Corny
What is Forrest Gump’s password?
“1Forrest1.”
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
“Together, we can stop this crap.”
“I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.”
What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?
“A dictator!”
What is sticky and brown?
“A stick!”
Why did the sperm cross the road?
“Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.”
How does a rabbi make coffee?
“Hebrews it!”
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?
“A rip-off!”
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?
“A beaver dam!”
“Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!”
What did the leper say to the sex worker?
“Keep the tip.”
How do you throw a space party?
“You planet!”
Why is diarrhea hereditary?
“It runs in your genes!”
How many lips does a flower have?
“Tu-lips.”
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
“I want you inside me.”
What’s a didgeridoo?
Whatever it wants to.
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When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.
Corny Jokes That Make You Laugh
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
“In case he got a hole in one!”
What do you call a man that irons clothes?
“Iron Man!”
What do you call a pile of cats?
“A meow-tain!”
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
“He drank his coffee before it was cool!”
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
“Too many cheetahs!”
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What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
“A receding hare line!”
Where does the electric cord go to shop?
“The outlet mall, of course!”
Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
“Because he’s always lion!”
What kind of cheese isn’t yours?
“Nacho cheese!”
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
“Wrap music!”
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
“He was a little shellfish!”
What’s a bear with no teeth called?
“A gummy bear!”
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
“Christian Bale!”
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
“He takes things personally!”
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Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
“Because he was always lost at C!”
How do you make a Venetian blind?
“Poke him in the eyes!”
How do you make a Swiss roll?
“Push him down a mountain!”
How do you impress a female baker?
“Bring her flours!”
Smart Corny Jokes Pick Up Lines
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, to whom.
How do mathematicians scold their children?
“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
“All they said was “Bach, Bach, Bach…”
Why can’t you trust an atom?
“Because they make up literally everything.”
Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert?
“Because they’re always stuffed.”
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
“A gummy bear.”
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
“Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!”
Corny Jokes Pick Up Lines
Do you like raisins?
“How do you feel about a date?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”
“Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of?
“Girlfriend/Boyfriend material.”
“Did your license get suspended for driving all these girls/guys crazy?”
Did you just come out of the oven?
“Because you’re hot.”
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Know what’s on the menu?
“Me ‘n’ u.”
“I was feeling a little off today—but you’ve turned me on again!”
Did you invent the airplane?
“Because you seem just Wright!”
Are you a camera?
“Because I look at you and smile!”
Long Corny Jokes
My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche.
There is a skeleton in our neighborhood who always knows that something bad might happen way before it actually happens. He has actually become quite famous and when a TV crew interviewed about the reason behind this ability, the skeleton finally disclosed his secret: he could feel the bad vibes in his bones.
I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived. As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, “Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee!”
A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles.”
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After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn’t lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
Once during an adventure, a farmer named Bryan Clay stumbled into a cave and found a magic lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. The farmer told him that he wished he were very rich. The Genie said okay and asked him, “Alright Mr Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish?”
I went to this haunted house for exploration. It was near the forest so the local guide warned me that I might find some animals there. Sure enough, there was a panda. When I offered it some food, I was taken aback because it suddenly started talking. Turned out that it was a ghost panda and it only ate bam-booooo!
As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. He threatened the manager by saying, “If you try to do anything smart, you’re fiction.” The manager was confused and asked him, “Don’t you mean ‘You are history’?” The robber angrily replied back, “Do not change the subject, okay?”
I was in the library once when a man walked in asking for some ham and cheese. The librarian politely told him that he was in a library. The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, “Can I please have some ham and cheese?”
I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, “Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder.”
After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo. When the others asked him what the reason was for such sadness, the Kangaroo revealed that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside.
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I was visiting the house of a distant cousin when I saw that he was playing chess with his cat. I said that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever. My cousin replied, “Absolutely not! She has lost all her matches!”
My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day. We didn’t really give it much thought until my brother really started eating his homework for dinner. When we stopped him and asked why he was doing that, he replied, “I was just trying to see how it tasted because my teacher said that the homework would be a piece of cake for me.”
I hope you loved our collection of short, smart, and long corny jokes for adults and expect that these will be helpful for you in your fun time.
If you want you can check out these riddles and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.
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