These dirty Christmas jokes definitely help you get a smile on their face instantly.
Take a look below and pick your favorite dirty Santa jokes and riddles. Enjoy!
Table of Contents
Dirty Santa Jokes (nonveg) 2023
How does Santa practice safe s*x?
“He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.”
What do three ho’s get you?
“One very jolly Santa.”
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
“Because he knows better than to try the back door.”
Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
“He only comes once a year.”
What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?
What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Why does Santa always land on your roof?
“Because he likes it on top.”
Why is Santa so damn jolly?
“Because he knows where all the naughty women live.”
Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
“He was obsessed with getting the cookie.”
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
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What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants?
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
“They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.”
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
“Santa was smart enough to stop at three ho’s.”
“Dear Santa…Define good.”
“Little boy: Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother
Santa: Send me your m0ther”
“Dear Santa, I would like a new birth suit this year. The old one is wrinkly and sagging. Thank you!”
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
“To keep her off the North Pole.”
What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and Santa?
“A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on.”
Why does Santa Claus like to get naughty after coming down the chimney?
“Because it soots him.’
What happened when Mr. and Mrs. Claus got randy beneath the Christmas tree?
“She came down with tinselitis!”
“I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come…
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.”
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Why does Santa go to str*p clubs?
“To visit all his ho ho ho’s.”
Wanna see the North Pole?
“That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…”
Dirty Santa Claus Knock Knock Jokes On Christmas 2023
Up your wazoo!
Not someone who?
Not someone who will get you l@id.
(S*xy voice) Who would you like it to be?
Ivana kiss your lips off.
Ivan to do something n@ughty with you!
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Dewey have a c0nd0m handy?
Budweiser dirty knock knock jokes so filthy?
My right nut.
Iguana touch your b*tt.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.
Waiter I get my hands on U.
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I like the view from bee-hind you.
When where who?
Tonight, my place, you and me.
Willis be the first time I kiss you?
I hope these dirty jokes on Santa help you have a naughty time sharing with your girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or friends.