70+ Dirty Valentines Day Jokes | One Liners | Naughty For Adults 2024

Make this Valentine’s day more entertaining with laughter and a lot of s*duction, with these dirty Valentine’s day jokes.

Moreover, these dirty jokes include naughty one liners for adults to use on February 14th.

Pick suitable dirty valentine’s day jokes to make things hot and heavy with your love interest or partner.

Happy Valentine’s day..!!!

Dirty Valentine Jokes One Liners

“Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

“I got more sweet treats for you than a Whitman’s sampler.”

“Do you know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day? Well, I’m gonna show you tonight, over and over and over…”

“Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night.”


“Tonight, you’re going to need a safe word, and the safe word is ‘be mine.’”

“Cards aren’t the only things that are going to be opening tonight.”

“I’m about to eat you like a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.”

“If you play your cards right, 2-14 is gonna add up to 69.”

“Tonight, I’m gonna put the V in your Valentine, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

“Your heart isn’t the only one of your organs I want to touch tonight.”

Dirty Valentines Day Jokes For Adults

Dirty Valentines Day Jokes For Adults

“Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** the flowers and candy, I just wanna screw.”

Get over here and eat my heart-shaped box.”

“I don’t want any stuffed animals. Today, I just want you to stuff me.”

I got you a heart-shaped box… in my pants.”

“TBH, it’s a big bow and arrow
Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Guys are like roses.
Watch out for the pricks.”


“With a side of sausage, please.
You’re like breakfast: great in bed.”

“I love you around the clock
I love your body, your mind and your soul
And not just your massive… heart.”

“This ain’t Build-A-Bear, baby
I don’t want a stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day. Stuff me instead.”

“It’s like buttah
I’m like butter. You can spread me anytime.”

This holiday may be named after a saint, but nothing I’m going to do to you tonight is church-sanctioned.”

I want to see you with nothing but a “heart on.”

If you don’t like Valentine’s Day because it’s corny… how about, instead, we make it p0rn-y?”

Happy Valentine’s Day, wanna f*ck?”


Most girls are hoping for a big rock on Valentine’s Day, but what I want is something that rhymes with that.”

“I choo-choo-choose you to stay in bed with me all day.”

Lingerie is half-off in stores today, but in my bedroom, it’s going to be 100 percent off.”

Let me help you Cherub one out.”

“Or the couch. Or the loo. I love you to the bedroom and back.”

“Finally found the G-spot. You’re cliterally the best.”

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, Get on your knees, You know what to do.”

“Spoiler: It’s from The Lion King, You can hakuna ma tata’s anytime.”

“Straight to the point. It’s Valentine’s Day. We should probably have s*x.”

Naughty Valentines Day Jokes

“I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your a$$”

“Guys are like Roses, Roses are red, Violets are blue, My knickers get w*t, Just thinking of you.”

“Hey, it beats folding laundry. You’re my favorite thing to do on Valentine’s Day.”

“Suds are so sexy. You’re my favorite shower buddy.”

“Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog. You’re the only weiner for my bun.”


“I can see you… cumming in my hair tonight.” Or whatever Phil Collins said.”

What do single people call Valentine’s Day?
“Happy Independence Day!”

“Let’s sin

On a tiger skin
Or, if you prefer
We could err
On a different fur.”

What did the light bulb say to the switch?
“You turn me 0N.”

What is the difference between a calendar and you?
“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I’m using my hand, Thinking of you.”

“We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… you’re hot and I want to be on top of you.”

“I love you around the clock, I love your body, your mind and your soul, And not just your massive… heart.”

“You’re like breakfast: great in bed!”


What’s the difference between love and marriage?
“Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.”

“I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime.”

“You make me feel like a unicorn – wild and h0rny.”

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