We all have used fat jokes at some point in our life to tease our friends, siblings, or lovers.
Depending on the person and the relationship, the jokes also vary.
For example, if it is for a friend, it usually is funny only, but if it is for your lover, it is more of a dirty joke.
Not just that, the fat jokes are sometimes nostalgic too, as we have been listening to them since our childhood.
Here are a few of the best fat jokes you can use in your fun time.
Table of Contents
Fat Jokes In Friends To Make You Cringe Now
What do you call an even fatter bee?
“O-bees.”
“Obese people must stay active and move in order to get in shape. Round shape.”
“Yo Mama so fat she wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled Taxi!”
What is the name for a fat bee?
“Chub-bee.”
“She took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, “we don’t do curtains.””
“You’re fat. It’s not because it runs in the family, you’re fat because nobody runs in your family.”
“Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, “To be continued.”
Related: Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends
“I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.”
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
“Life is like a box of chocolates; it ends sooner for fat people.”
“I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.”
“Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself… a piece of cake.”
Doctor Fat Jokes To Tickle Your Funny Bone
“I was feeling poorly so I went to the doctor. After a thorough investigation, he said” “don’t eat anything fatty”. I asked “Do you mean fries, burgers, etc?” He replied, “No! Don’t eat anything, FATTY!”
“A man goes to the doctor and says,” “Doctor, I think I’m going deaf!” And the doctor says, “Can you describe the symptoms?” The man responds, “Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.”
“I went to the doctor recently.” He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty” “I said, f*ck you @ssh0le. He said I meant eat healthier.”
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“A woman told her husband about her dream in which everybody she knows turned into zombies.”
H: “Honey, even if I really turned into a zombie, I will never eat you.”
W: “Aww….”
H: “The doctor told me to cut down on fatty food”
Fat Jokes For Sister To Strengthen Your Bond
“Yo sister so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.”
“Sometimes I feel fat and ugly …But Then I look at my sister and get over it.”
“Yo sister so fat she wears a microwave as a beeper.”
“Yo sister’s so big, when she goes to the movie theater she sits next to everybody.”
“Yo sister is so fat I ran round her twice and got lost.”
“Is Obese, Calls girlfriend’s sister fat.”
“Yo sister is so fat she was baptized at Sea World.”
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“Yo sister is so fat she has three shirt sizes: extra large, extra extra large, and “Oh my God, it’s coming towards us!”
“Yo sister so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.”
“Yo sister is so fat the only thing attracted to her is gravity.”
“Yo sister so fat she has her own postcode.”
Fat Jokes For Dogs & Puppy Puns Of The Internet
“My pugs so fat, he turned into a Husky!”
“TBT is a great way to see how fat your dogs gotten!”
“My dog went on a diet, she removed all the kibble from the pantry. It was delicious!”
“Yo dogs so fat, she’s got more rolls than a bakery.
“Behind every fat dog is a skinny dog, no seriously, get your dog out of the way.”
“Your dogs so old and fat, when got said “Let there be light” he told her to move.”
Related: Dinosaur Jokes For Adults, Kids
“My new years resolution is to gain 10 pounds so my pug looks skinnier.”
“Your dogs so fat, when you go camping, the bears hide THEIR food!”
Whats a dogs favorite musical instrument?
“The Dinner Bell!”
“Your dogs so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and skittles popped out.”
Fat Jokes Comebacks When Someone Shame You
“Be careful, I ate the last person who commented on my weight!”
“Is your @ss jealous of the amount of sh*t that just came out of your mouth?”
“Thanks for the compliment. What time does your mom pick you up from daycare?”
“Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?”
“If I wanted to hear from an @ssh*le, I’d fart.”
Related: Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny
“I could lose weight if I wanted to. You, however, will always be rude.”
“I’m not fat. I’m abundant.”
“Body shaming isn’t cute, and the same with you.”
“I could lose weight if I wanted to, but you are stuck with your horrible personality. Perhaps if you are nice to the next person they might help.”
“I can bet you are not half as proud of your body as I am of mine. You should learn to speak with a little more respect.”
Curvy, Fat Jokes Pick Up Lines
Are you butt-dialing?
“Because I swear that kiss is calling me.”
“Aww, girl, I’m gonna have to put you on my “To Do” List!”
Am I smashed?
“Or are you really that curvy?”
Did you sit on donuts?
“Because you got a fat axx.”
Are you from the ghetto?
“Because I’m about to ghetto hold of that @ss.”
Related: Inappropriate Jokes For Adults
“Baby, you are FATulous!”
Do you have an inhaler?
“Because you’ve got axx ma.”
“Damn you got a big A X X !!”
Do you like cake? Do you like fat @sses?
“Do you want to eat cake off my fat axx?”
Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute?
“I want to remember that curves.”
Fat Jokes On TV
“Fred and Barney buy a sweepstakes ticket together. Barney takes it and hides it in his house. Fred’s evil conscience convinces him that he should be the one to hold the ticket. On his way to break in to Barney’s, Fred has second thoughts. “I feel like a big, fat crook.” His evil conscience replies, “So you’re fat. Does that mean you’re dishonest?”
“Why, if you’d just put on this raccoon coat, I could use you as a pipe cleaner…!”
“Groucho Marx to Margaret Dumont” -“I can see you now bending over a hot stove, but I can’t see the stove”
“Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) “Don’t we have any lard around here?”
Alice (Audrey Meadows) “Yeah about 300 lbs of it!”
Any others”
Fat Cells Jokes & One Liners
“Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.”
“Brain cells die, skin cells die, hair cells die, even cell phones die… But FAT CELLS must have found the Lord because those things have eternal life.”
Body Shape Jokes
How does the Mona Lisa stay in shape.?
“Paint thinner.”
How did Jesus stay in shape?
“Cross fit.”
“Every shape is basically a circle. It’s just that they are all edgy.”
How come Italy is shaped like a boot?
“Can’t fit that much sh*t in a shoe.”
How do chess players stay in shape?
“They lift rooks”
Related: I Love You Knock Knock Jokes
From my 13 yr old son. What do you call a pizza in the shape of a cookie?
“A pizza.”
“An@l s*x keeps my wife in shape. Every time I just mention it and she runs a mile from me.”
“I found an animal cracker shaped like Jesus……it was a snackrificial lamb.”
What would you call a show if it was Bridgerton but everyone was out of shape?
“Downton Flabby”
“My friend told me to get in shape. I mean isn’t round a shape.”
Funny Weight Jokes: Exercise & Dieting
“You’re so fat that the only way you can fit your whole body into a photo is to use panorama.”
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”
“She’s so fat, she fell down and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!”
“I love my six packs so much that I have protected it with layers of fat.”
Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
“She heard you could get thinner there.”
“I don’t buy fat-free milk because I don’t want to contribute to cows having body issues.”
Related: Knock Knock Jokes Flirty
“Loosing weight is like golf… None of us are any focking good at it.
“Fat people are lucky – they get to eat whatever they want and not worry about getting fat.”
“I hate when people make fun of my weight.They’re just making a joke at my expanse”
“It’s so hard to lose weight, When you have an overactive knife and fork!
“I know your weight isn’t of the utmost concern, But we have to adress the elephant in the room.”
“My conservative brother is considering buying free weights… To own the lbs.”
Skinny Jokes That Make People Laugh
“I would roast you but you don’t have any meat!”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
“None. It’s why he’s so skinny.”
“So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.”
“Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.”
“Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.”
What does a skinny pharmacist take?
“Gotnoasitol.”
Related: Really Bad Puns Jokes
Why ate orphans so Skinny?
“They never eat anything that is family size.”
What is the name for a skinny Pakistani cow?
“A moo-slim.”
What do you call real skinny manhood?
“A girth defect.”
Why are plants so skinny?
“They usually have a light lunch.”
Fat Ankle Jokes Will Make You LOL
“Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-axx jeans.”
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
“Damn bro, you got an ankle spring”
“Yo momma so fat her ankle broke and gravy poured out.”
I am expecting that we are able to make you smile with these fat jokes.
I know it’s not so cool to make fun of people’s weight, but there is a right way to do everything, and light humor is always appreciated.
Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.
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