There’s no better way to celebrate Father’s Day than with some humorous fathers day jokes.
Most dads are completely silent but father’s day is one day of the year when you can use every fathers day jokes.
Moreover, you can give him a thoughtful Father’s day gift or DIY a homemade card with a sweet and funny message inside as well.
Fathers Day Jokes One-liners 2022
“I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
“A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”
“Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”
“If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
“I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.”
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“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.”
“I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”
“I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”
“I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
“I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.”
“I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!”
“I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.”
“I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.”
“It takes guts to be an organ donor.”
“If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?”
“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”
“I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.”
Fathers Day Jokes Dirty 2022
“Does your daddy work at the grocery store because you have nice melons!”
“Is your daddy named Oliver, because soon you’ll be Oliver this d*ck.”
“Your daddy must play the trumpet because you’re making me h*rny!”
My dad only knows m*sturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy.
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My dad always used to say: “If your s*x doll starts leaking, it’s not sick, it’s full.”
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six offender.
What do you call a rabbit with a bent d*ck?
Funny Jokes About Dads 2022
Dad: Hi, Sweetie, how was school today?
Daughter: You can read all about it on my Facebook, Dad!
“My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
Dad: Let me see your report card.
Son: I don’t have it.
Dad: Why not?
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
“Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
“I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
“No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
Dad, can you put the cat out?
“I didn’t know it was on fire.”
How do you make 7 even?
“Take away the s.”
“Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
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“I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
Where do fruits go on vacation?”
“I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.”
“I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.”
“I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
Fathers Day Jokes For Church 2022
Who was the smallest person in the Bible?
“Knee high miah!”
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
“Because he knew there was something fishy about it.”
What kind of person was Boaz before he got married?
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
“When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.”
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
“Samson. He brought the house down.”
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
“Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.”
How does Moses start his morning?
“Hebrews a pot of coffee!”
At what time of day was Adam created?
“A little before Eve.”
Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
“David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.”
Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?
“No, just an apple.”
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
“Jesus can’t be topped.”
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
“He didn’t want to split hairs.”
Need an ark?
“I noah guy.”
Which Bible character had no parents?
“Joshua, son of Nun.”
Dad Jokes For Adults 2022
What is the scariest tree?
“My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.”
What do you call a coupon-using vampire?
“Suckers for deals!”
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
“Wherever you left it.”
What do you call Bill Gates when he’s flying?
What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?
“Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.”
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“I had a great joke about COVID… but I don’t wanna spread it around.”
How did the pirate get his ship so cheap?
“It was on sail..”
What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard 2022
Who is the most lonely billionaire?
Why can’t you send a duck to space?
“Because the bill would be astronomical.”
Thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. Remains to be seen.
What language do people speak in the middle of the earth?
Why are bakers so rich?
“They make so much dough.”
What do call a criminal landing an airplane?
How do you get a blind person to see?
“Usually by boat.”
“If sweet dreams are made of cheese… Who am I to dis-a-brie?”
“I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. I now have Heinzsight.
I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?
“Hey there bud!”
Best Dad Jokes Flirty 2022
“I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.”
“Did your daddy write a dictionary because you put meaning in my life”
“Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!”
“If you got those eyes from your mother, I know exactly why your dad married her.”
“Is your daddy a locksmith because you have the keys to my heart.”
“Is your daddy a traffic cop? Because you got fine written all over you.”
“Is your daddy an alien because you’re out of this world”
“Your daddy must be a high jumper because you make my bar raise!”
Father’s Day Jokes From Wife 2022
What do you call a dad who loves you no matter what?
What did the baby otter say to its dad?
You are a dad like no otter.
What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline is apparent!
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never-lands.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
It lost its filling.
How do pigs wake up their dad on Father’s Day?
With plenty of hogs and kisses.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools.
Why should you never use a dull pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.
How do you identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
Father’s Day Puns 2022
“The best dads are really punny.”
“Yoda best, Dad.”
“Dad puns—that’s how eye roll.”
“Dad, you’re a real fungi.”
“Have a beer-y happy Father’s Day.”
“Father, I am your daughter.”
“I love your
“You meet all of the koala-fications.”
“Dad, you’re dino-mite.”
“There’s gnome one like you.”
“You’re the tricera-tops!”
“Dad to the bone.”
“You’re tee-rific, Dad!”
“I turtle-y love my dad!”
I hope these fathers day jokes are fun enough to make everyone laugh around you and yourself.
Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, animals, love, and holiday to get you more ideas for different moods and situations.