100+ Funny Christmas Quotes For Bright Spirits Until New Year 2022

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The holiday season has started, from shopping to surprising with gifts for friends and family.

Hloday without jokes and laughs is incomplete and to ease out the stress, funny Christmas quotes can be useful.

Sharing funny holiday quotes with friends, family, and relatives is a fun activity as well as you can write funny lines on Christmas and New Year greeting cards for people in your communities.

Take a look below and pick the suitable quotes for perfect Christmas caption, funny Christmas memes, Christmas puns, and Santa jokes too. Enjoy!

Cute & Funny Christmas Quotes 2022

Funny Christmas Quotes

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor Borge

Cute Christmas Quotes

I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas. Frank Butler

Cute Funny Christmas Quotes

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. Bridger Winegar

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. Winston Spear

What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present. Don Marquis

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. Henny Youngman

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry Seinfeld

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. Lenore Hershey

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa? Matt Groening

Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer. Catherine Tate

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Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. Roy L. Smith

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. Frank McKinney Hubbard

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.

The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted. Olivia Haigh Williams

A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.

Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.

Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas.

Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.

Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’. Robert Paul

Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. Stephen John Fry

It may be a cliche, but it’s true – the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself. Julie Burchill

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. Katharine Whitehorn, Roundabout

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”

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“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”

“Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” Victor Borge

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.” Bernard Manning

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. John B. Priestly

Top Funny Christmas Quotes From The Office 2022

Funny Christmas Quotes From The Office

“Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive.” Ryan Howard

“The name is Bond…Santa Bond. I’ll have eggnog, shaken not stirred.” Michael Scott

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“So Phyllis is basically saying ‘Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help out the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt’s worth’.” Michael Scott

“I would like another alcohol.” Erin Hannon

“Everyone wants the iPod. It’s a huge hit. Almost a Christmas miracle.” Michael Scott

“I got myself as secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn’t.” Kevin Malone

“Everyone would go to one Santa, and…once you sat on her lap and she’d ask you what you wanted, you would say probably ‘freedom’.” Secret Santa

“For my New Year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week.”  Meredith Palmer

“Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come into work and you’re dead?” Moroccan Christmas

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“I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.” Benihana Christmas

“At its worst, it was a toxic, political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.” Classy Christmas

Best Funny Christmas Quotes From Movies 2022

Funny Christmas Quotes From Movies

Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. Christmas Vacation

There’s a certain magic that comes with the very first snow. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen. Frosty the Snowman

That’s what Christmas memories are made from, they’re not planned, they’re not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry, they just happen. Deck the Halls

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Yes! Yes, I do! I like Christmas! I love Christmas! A Christmas Carol

I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. A Christmas Carol

I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all really. Maybe it just needs a little love. A Charlie Brown Christmas

Christmas is just about my favorite time. Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt like it was my own personal holiday. Ernest Saves Christmas

And we’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas. Christmas Vacation

You’ll shoot your eye out kid! A Christmas Story

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God bless us, every one! A Christmas Carol

Merry Christmas you filthy animal. Home Alone 2

Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved. A Christmas Story

Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. Christmas Vacation

I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. A Christmas Carol

I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all really. Maybe it just needs a little love. A Charlie Brown Christmas

Christmas is just about my favorite time. Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt like it was my own personal holiday. Ernest Saves Christmas

And we’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas. Christmas Vacation

You’ll shoot your eye out kid! A Christmas Story

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Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved. A Christmas Story

Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he? It’s a Wonderful Life

You have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card. Elf

I want my house to be seen from space! Deck the Halls

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Elf

Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart. The Polar Express

Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. Miracle on 34th Street

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I’m of the mindset that you can never do too much to make a child’s Christmas magical. Jingle All the Way

This is Christmas. The season of perpetual hope. Home Alone

Short Funny Christmas Quotes For Cards 2022

Short Christmas Quotes For Cards

“Next to a circus, there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”

I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you.

Merry Christmas, and hippy new year.

Christmas is Claus for celebration!

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It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.

Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!

I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!

“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” Melanie White

That warm feeling isn’t just the Christmas spirit. I think you left the oven on.

May you be surrounded by ho’s this Christmas season.

Ho! Ho! Holy shit! It’s almost Christmas!

May your nuts remain uncracked this holiday season.

You bettah check yo elf before you wreck yo elf.

Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip.

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When I think about you, I touch my elf.

Another Christmas already? Seriously, what the Elf?

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive.

May your fun be large and bills be small this year. Merry Christmas!

I couldn’t afford a present this year’s Christmas, so I wrapped myself for you.

Santa has had the right idea all along. Visiting family only once per year. Genius!

Mentally: I am totally ready for Christmas. Financially? I’ll never be ready.

Do you know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I. Got. Fat!

You’ll like this present. You gave it to me last year!

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Merry Christmas to my favorite… Ho, Ho, Ho!

Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday.

Wishing you the gifts of the season — Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon.

But first, let me take an elfie.

Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it’d better bring good beer.

Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.

Bring on the joy! Bring on the cheer! Bring on the present swap game… I always dominate!

If you look for me at Christmas, Don’t forget to check the local bar!

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Santa saw your Facebook – you’re getting a dictionary this year!

Can I keep you forever? You are the perfect gift i would never like to lose for this Christmas.

Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It’s like “What do you want this year?”

I hope you have found these funny Christmas quotes and saying useful for texting and writing in Christmas greeting cards.

Moreover, you can check out these jokes, memes, and riddles on food, animals, and love to get more ideas that suit different holiday moods and situations.

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