Halloween is the best holiday period of the year.
Everyone is excited about things like trick-or-treating, pumpkin carving, ghost-busting, horror movie marathons, and whatnot.
To prepare you for Halloween we have collected our list of top funny Halloween jokes for adults and kids to impress people.
Moroever, I have included dirty jokes on Halloween with trick or treat knock knock jokes for kids and adults.
And you may win the title of Pun-kin (iykwim).
Table of Contents
Funny Jokes For Adults Clean Edition
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
“Hoblin’ Goblin.”
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
“Fangsgiving.”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
“Bamboo.”
When does a ghost have breakfast?
“In the moaning. “
What do you call a dancing ghost?
“Polka-haunt-us.”
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When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
“On Fry Day.”
Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
“At the casketeria.”
What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance?
“The muenster mash!”
How do you write a book about Halloween?
“With a ghostwriter.”
Top 10 Halloween Jokes For Any Situation
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
“A sand-witch!”
What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
“You suck.”
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
“Boo-Jeans!”
What fruit do ghosts like?
“Strawboo-rises!”
What do you call a wolf that knows what’s going on?
“Awarewolf!”
How many monsters are good at math?
“None unless you count Dracula!”
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When do zombies finish trick or treating?
“When they are dead tired.”
Why did the skeleton run away?
“Because a dog was after his bones.”
How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating?
“She checks her witch watch.”
Why didn’t the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends?
“She was ex-spelled from school.”
Halloween Jokes For Adults Dirty Edition
Here are some of the best halloween jokes for adults dirty to get you make things hot and heavy if that’s you want from these jokes.
How do two skeletons have s*x?
“By boning all night long.”
How do skeletons make babies?
“They bone.”
Why do the witches hate hanging out with the headless horseman?
“He’s obsessed with getting head.”
Why do witches wear no panties?
“For better grip on the broom.”
What did the vampire say to the teacher?
“See you next period.”
Why don’t you ever have an unexpected pregnancy when dating a vampire?
“Because they can’t come inside without asking for permission.”
Related: Fang-Tastic Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
Why don’t witches have babies?
“Their husbands have crystal balls.”
What’s unique about s#x with vampires?
“They only come at night.”
What is a vampire’s favorite part of s*x?
“Edraculating.”
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
“It’s a pain in the neck.”
Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids
Why did the witch take a nap?
“She needed to rest a spell.”
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
“Wrap.”
What are two witches living together called?
“Broommates.”
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street?
“He didn’t have any guts.”
Where does Dracula keep his money?
“At the blood bank.”
What do ghosts eat for dessert?
“Ice scream.”
Related: Best Witch Jokes & Riddles For Halloween
How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
“With a pumpkin patch!”
Why are graveyards so noisy?
“Because of all the coffin!”
Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
“Because it had great circulation.”
Why don’t people like Dracula?
“He’s a pain in the neck.”
Trick Or Treat Jokes
Why did the Cyclops give up teaching?
“He only had one pupil!”
What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?
“He was “repossessed”.”
What do you call a hot dog with nothing in it?
“A “hollow-weenie”.”
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
“The “stake” sandwich.”
Why do witches fly on brooms?
“Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.”
Related: Dirty Halloween Jokes For Adults
Which ghost is the best dancer?
“The Boogie Man!”
What did the ghost say to the host at the party?
“I’m only here for the BOOS!”
Why is a ghost so bad at lying?
“Because you can see right through him!”
How do monsters tell their future?
“They read their “HORROR”-scope.”
What does every ghost receive to start their rock collection?
“A tombstone.”
What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
“A “boo-boo”.”
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
It’s just a joke – you don’t cry about it!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?”
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Halloween!
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Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Halloween!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Jacklyn.
Jacklyn who?
Jacklyn Hyde!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ooze.
Ooze who?
Ooze that monster over there?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know who’s here if you don’t open the door!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben waiting for candy all day!
Related: Knock Knock Jokes Flirty
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Turnin.
Turnin who?
Turnin to a vampire this Halloween!
I hope now you are prepared to impress others with your set of favorite Halloween Puns.
Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.
Happy Halloween! Cheers!
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