80+ Funny Holiday Jokes | Quotes | Christmas | Dad | Seniors | Beach | Puns 2023

As December approaches, Christmas decorations, holiday greetings, and carols can be heard almost everywhere.

These are all reminders of the most delightful season of the year.

In addition to this, Christmas comes with a lot of parties and responsibilities as well.

So to light up that responsibility we have a great collection of funny holiday jokes for you so that you can have them in all situations.

Pick suitable funny holiday jokes, memes, riddles, and trivia, or try these quotes for different moods and situations.

Happy holidays..!!!

Beach Holiday Jokes

Why is the beach always so confident?
“It’s 100% shore.”

What did the parasol say to the beach towel?
“I’ve got you covered!”

What is the best thing to eat on the beach?
“A sandwich.”

What did the shovel say to his friend on the beach? Are you okay?
“You’re looking a bit pail.”

What’s the most common insect found on the beach?
“A beach buggy!”

What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?

What did the pig say when it was lying on the sand?
“I’m bacon.”

Related: Best Holiday Dad Jokes

What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach?

What do you call a French man who wears sandals?
“Phillipe Phloppe.”

What do you call a labrador on the beach in the summer?
“A hot dog.”

Holiday Jokes for Seniors

How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.”

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.”

What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.”

What do you call a broke Santa Claus?

Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!”

What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
A Christmas quacker.”

Related: Best Holiday Trivia Questions

What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
Crisp Pringles.”

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.”

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!”

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.”

Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.”

Funny Holiday Jokes Christmas

How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.”

What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!”

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.”

What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.”

What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cariboo.”

Related: Best Holiday Icebreaker Questions

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”

How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”

What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Funny Holiday Jokes Quotes

”Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” 

”It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales.”

“Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.”

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”

”We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks.”

“It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.”

Related: Christmas Trivia Questions

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” 

“Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.”

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

“You can’t fool me—there ain’t no Sanity Clause!” 

Funny Holiday Puns

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you!”

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.”

What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas?
It’s finally Christmas, Eve!”

What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.”

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.”

Related: Best Holiday Jokes For Kids

What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
“Santa Pause.”

How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.”

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was searching for some holiday spirit.”

Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
Because they’re shell-fish.”

What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?

Where does santa keep all his money?
At the local snow bank.”

Funny Holiday Dad Jokes

Why is Santa kind of scared of chimneys?
Because he’s so claus-trophobic.”

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.”

What do you get when you deep fry Santa?
Crisp Cringle.”

Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
Because it soots him.”

Related: Funny Christmas Carol Jokes For Holiday Cheers

How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad”

What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day?

What part of the body do you only see around Christmas?
The mistletoe.”

Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
Because the present’s beneath them.”

Why is Santa so good at karate?
Cause he’s got a black belt.”

I hope these funny holiday jokes are fun to share with friends and people around you.

Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, trivia, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.

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