Everyone enjoys a good laugh. Trust me!
You’ll definitely enjoy laughing at these funny Valentines day jokes even if you’re not into love, romance, or all those cringy stuff.
These Valentine’s day jokes for adults include cute and dirty jokes for friends and singles.
Pick suitable funny jokes and have a fun time with your friend, partner, or crush this valentine’s day.
Happy Valentine’s day..!!!
Table of Contents
Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Adults
Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
“A calendar.”
What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?
“Bee mine.”
What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit?
“I found the perfect match!”
What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?
“Well-red.”
How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine?
“Whale you be mine?”
Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple’s song for two ghosts to share?
“Invisible String.”
Related:
How did the coin propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a jingle.”
What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time?
“You’re choco-late.”
Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator?
“He found her to be very attractive.”
What’s the best recipe for a perfect morning on February 14?
“A hug and a quiche.”
What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half!”
Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
“It was just puppy love.”
Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Friends
What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
“Be my Valen-slime!”
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
“I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.”
What did the calculator say to the pencil?
“You can count on me.”
How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a ring!”
What did one oar tell the other oar?
“This is so row-mantic!”
What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?
“You light my world up.”
Related:
How can you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?
“For stealing someone’s heart.”
Why did the husband get his wife a kitten for Valentine’s Day?
“He thought it was the purrfect present.
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you!”
Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?
“His heart wasn’t in it.”
What did one watermelon say to the other?
“You’re one in a melon!”
What do you call a very small Valentine?
“A valen-tiny.”
What did the ghost say to his valentine?
“You look so BOOtiful.”
“If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.”
What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?
“Lots of hogs and kisses.”
Related:
What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that didn’t arrive time?”
“Choco-late.”
What’s Cupid’s favorite band?
“Kiss!”
Funny Valentines Day Jokes That Are Dirty
“Do you know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day? Well, I’m gonna show you tonight, over and over and over…”
“Get over here and eat my heart-shaped box.”
“I don’t want any stuffed animals. Today, I just want you to stuff me.”
“I got you a heart-shaped box… in my pants.”
“TBH, it’s a big bow and arrow
Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”
Related:
“Guys are like roses.
Watch out for the pricks.”
“With a side of sausage, please.
You’re like breakfast: great in bed.”
“Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night.”
“Tonight, you’re going to need a safe word, and the safe word is ‘be mine.’”
“Cards aren’t the only things that are going to be opening tonight.”
“I’m about to eat you like a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.”
“If you play your cards right, 2-14 is gonna add up to 69.”
“Tonight, I’m gonna put the V in your Valentine, if you know what I’m sayin’.”
“Your heart isn’t the only one of your organs I want to touch tonight.”
Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Singles
What do you call a very small Valentine?
“A Valen-tiny.”
What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
“The day after, when all the candy is on sale.”
What did one berry say to the other berry on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you “berry” much”
What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
“I love BOO!”
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
“No, they had an apple!”
What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine’s Day?
“Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.”
“I gave blood today.
It may not be the best Valentine’s Day present, but at least it came from the heart.”
Related:
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
How did the phone propose?
“He gave her a ring.”
What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?
“Choco-late.”
What do owls say to declare their love?
“Owl be yours!”
Very Funny Valentines Day Jokes
What did one watermelon say to the other?
“You’re one in a melon!”
What do you call a very small Valentine?
“A valen-tiny.”
What did the ghost say to his valentine?
“You look so BOOtiful.”
What did one sheep say to the other on February 14?
“I love ewe.”
How did the whale ask the other whale on a Valentine’s date?
“Whale you be mine?”
Related:
What do you call a ghost’s sweetheart?
“A ghoul-friend.”
“If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.”
What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?
“Lots of hogs and kisses.”
What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that didn’t arrive time?
“Choco-late.”
What did one bee say to the other?
“I love bee-ing with you, honey!”
What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you.”
How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine’s Day?
“A choco-LOT!”
What did one flame say to another on Valentine’s Day?
“We’re a perfect match.”
How did the phone propose to his GF?
“He gave her a ring.”
Cute Funny Valentines Day Jokes
What’s the most romantic ship?
“Courtship.”
What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re a big dill to me.”
Where did the high-heel take its date?
“To the football.”
How did one drum tell the other about its feelings?
“My heart beats for you.”
How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
Related:
How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts?
“Become single.”
How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond?
“I’m nuts about you.”
How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans?
“They said it was a date.”
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