The best season of the year is here!
However, it’s important to calm down from stressful shopping, Christmas presents wrapping, and meal prep and give yourself permission to laugh.
Therefore, below are some of the best holiday dad jokes that include Christmas, vacation, and party dad jokes to suit all kinds of situations.
Also, try these memes, riddles, and trivia to have a fun time this holiday season with your loved ones.
Read them and have fun! Happy Holidays..!!!
Table of Contents
Summer Holiday Dad Jokes
Where do Jersey cows go on their summer vacation?
“Moo York!”
What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?
“Reapply.”
What do sheep do on a summer weekend?
“Have a baa-baa-cue.”
Why are mountains the funniest places to go for summer vacation?
“Because they are hill-arious.”
What do bees say during a heat wave?
“Boy, it’s swarm!”
Where do sheep go on vacation?
“The Baa-hamas”
Why doesn’t summer have any friends?
“Because it’s not cool enough.”
Why did the robot go on vacation?
“He needed to recharge his batteries.”
Related: Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny
What do snowmen do in summer?
“Chillout.”
What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
“A watermelon.”
Why are basketball players afraid of going on summer vacation?
“They don’t want to get called for traveling.”
Why don’t mummies go to summer camp?
“They’re afraid to relax and unwind.
Christmas dad jokes
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
“Saint-nickel-less.”
Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
“Because every single buck is dear to him!”
What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
“A Christmas quacker.”
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
“Crisp Pringles.”
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
“They’re into all the wrapping.”
Related: Best Christmas Dad Jokes & Riddles
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake.”
Clean Holiday Dad Jokes
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
“Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
“Wrap.”
What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
“By live stream.”
Where do sharks go on vacation?
“Finland.”
Related: Inappropriate Jokes For Adults
What do you call a snowman in summer?
“A puddle.”
What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?
“Swimming trunks.”
Who’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
“Patty O’Furniture.”
What nationality is Santa Claus?
“North Polish.”
What do you call a blind reindeer?
“I have no eye deer.”
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
“Rude-olph.”
Vacation Dad Jokes
What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
“A coconut on vacation.”
What do snowmen do in summer?
“Chill out.”
What does the sun drink out of?
“Sun-glasses.”
What did the reporter say to the ice cream?
“What’s the scoop?”
Related: Winter Dad Jokes One Liners
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
“A palm tree!”
What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
“Where is pop corn?”
What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company?
“Reapply.”
How do you prevent a summer cold?
“Catch it in winter.”
Holiday Bad Dad Jokes
What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
“A cariboo.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
“Frostbite.”
What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
“A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”
What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
“This one’s gonna sleigh you!”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
“Subordinate clauses.”
Related: New Years Dad Jokes
Why don’t mummies ever take a summer vacation?
“They’re afraid to unwind.”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
“To make up for his miserable summer.”
Why do bananas use sunscreen?
“So they don’t peel.”
Where does fruit like to vacation?
“In Pear-is.”
What did the pig say on a hot summer day?
“I’m bacon!”
Where do ghosts like to go to cool off in the summer heat?
“Lake Eerie.”
Bank Holiday Dad Jokes
“Please leave your values at the front desk.”
“Notice in the Bar: Special cocktails: For the ladies with nuts.”
“Notice in the Hotel Shop: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.”
“One seventh of your life is spent on Monday. However, the only person to get his work done by “Friday was Robinson Crusoe.”
“If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?”
“Take one of our horse-driven tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Or, would you like to ride on your own ass?”
Holiday Party Dad Jokes
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
“The elf-abet”
What do snowmen call their offspring?
“Chill-dren.”
What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
“An abdominal snowman.”
Related: New Years Jokes
What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”
What is the best Christmas present?
“A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.”
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
“Nothing. It was on the house.”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
“Subordinate clauses.”
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
“Fleece Navidad.”
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
“Claustrophobia.”
I hope you had the best time with these holiday dad jokes.
If you want to read more then check out these jokes, riddles, trivia, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.
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