70+ Inappropriate Christmas Jokes To Put You On The Naughty List 2022

Updated on

Christmas holidays without naughty jokes and pick-up lines are incomplete.

Who cares whether it’s inappropriate Christmas jokes or dirty pick up lines.

Those who are interested in inappropriate Christmas pick-up lines and jokes, look below to instigate some truth or dare fun with friends, partners, and crush.

Here I have compiled some of the best naughty NSFW, adults-only holiday jokes.

Take a look and pick suitable dirty Christmas jokes pick up lines and enjoy the holiday responsibly.

Inappropriate Christmas Jokes For Adults 2022

Inappropriate Christmas Jokes For Adults

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
“Because he knows better than to try the back door.”

Why was the snowman smiling?
“He could see the snowblower coming down the street.”

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
“Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.”

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
“Snowballs.”

Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
“He only comes once a year.”

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
“Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.”

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
“When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.”

Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
“Cause she married to a guy who comes once a year.”

What do three hos get you?
“One very jolly Santa.”

Dreaming of a white Christmas?
“Jingle my balls, baby.”

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
“Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you..”

Wanna see the North Pole?
“That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…”

Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
“He refused to let go of all those irritating ho’s.”

What do a train set and your wife’s b**bs have in common?
“They were both made for kids but dads can’t help playing with them.”

How do snowmen make babies?
“Snowballs, of course.”

Related: Rude Christmas Jokes, Savage & Dirty

What do you call a girl who cheats on you during the holidays?
“A ho ho ho bag.”

Why does Santa always land on your roof?
“Because he likes it on top.”

What do you call Santa’s helpers?
“Subordinate clauses.”

Why are Christmas trees better than men?
“Even the small ones give satisfaction.”

Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
“To keep her off the North Pole.”

Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up?
“It doesn’t have legs.”

Inappropriate Knock Knock JokesOn Christmas 2022

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima dreaming of a white Christmas…

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Angel
Angel who?
Angel on top of my Christmas tree.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ho.
Ho who?
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bull.
Bull who?
Bullshitter!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Help madam finger is stuck in the door.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
(S*xy voice) Who would you like it to be?

Related: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben down and lick my boots!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana kiss your lips off.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to do something naughty with you!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey have a c*nd*m handy?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not your wife.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Budweiser!
Budweiser who?
Budweiser dirty knock knock jokes so filthy?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al!
Al who?
Al give you a kiss if you open this door!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben Hur.
Ben Hur who?
Ben hur up!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kiss.
Kiss who?
Kiss me!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.

Related: Funny Christmas Quotes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben Dover.
Ben Dover who?
Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozer.
Dozer who?
Dozer the biggest br*asts I’ve ever seen.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later at my place.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladiator.
Gladiator who?
Gladiator during the 3-some.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bee.
Bee who?
I like the view from bee-hind you.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
When where.
When where who?
Tonight, my place, you and me.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willis!
Willis who?
Willis be the first time I kiss you?

Inappropriate Pick Up Lines For Christmas 2022

“Is your name Jingle Bells? Cause you look ready to go all the way.”

“Wanna see the North Pole? That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…”

“Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top.”

“I’ve checked twice and I’m sure you’re on my naughty list.”

“The milk and cookies at my place taste good for breakfast, too.”

“Let’s both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.”

“Wanna sit on the North Pole tonight?”

“Screw the nice list; I’ve got you on my nice and naughty list!”

“Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?”

“Let me help you out of that ugly sweater.”

“What do you say we make this a Not-So-Silent Night?”

Related: Clean Christmas Jokes And Puns Riddles

“The only package I want this Christmas is yours.”

“I want to fill you up with my holiday spirit.”

“Unlike Santa, I’ll bring over some toys if you want to get naughty.”

“You’d be the first gift I’d unwrap Christmas morning.”

“Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.”

“You make me more excited than seeing gifts under a Christmas tree.”

“I’ll definitely let you join in my reindeer games.”

I hope these dirty and inappropriate Christmas jokes and pick-up lines for adults are entertaining enough to make your friends, partner, or crush blush this holiday.

Moreover, check out these jokes, memes, and riddles on food, animals, and love to get more ideas that suit different moods and situations.

Related Topics:

Funny Christmas Jokes For Family
Corny Christmas Jokes
Christmas Cracker Jokes
Dirty Christmas Memes
Christmas Riddles For Adults
Christmas Movie Quotes
Christmas Jokes For Teens
Christmas Dad Jokes
Elf On The Shelf Jokes