Christmas is the best time to entertain yourself and others with little naughty fun Christmas jokes.
Take a look and pick the suitable holiday jokes on Christmas to share over text or use them face to face. Enjoy!
Savage Christmas Jokes 2021
What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?
How does Santa practice safe s*x?
“He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.”
How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?
“You do a bunch of work and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.”
Why do elves laugh when they run?
“Because the snow tickles their balls.”
Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
“He only comes once a year.”
What does The Grinch do with a baseball bat?
“Hits a gnome and runs.”
What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?
What’s the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning?
“When they get a sweater, but they’re hoping for a screamer or a m0aner.”
Why did the Snowman want a divorce?
“Because his wife was a total flake.”
What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”
“I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.”
Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
“Cause she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.”
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
“As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, Are you going to put that up yourself?”
“I said, No, I’m putting it up in the living room.”
Why are Christmas trees better than men?
“Even the small ones give satisfaction.”
Why is Santa so damn jolly?
“Because he knows where all the naughty women live.”
Why was the snowman smiling?
“He could see the snowblower coming down the street.”
Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
“He was obsessed with getting the cookie.”
Is your name Jingle Bells?
“Cause you look ready to go all the way.”
Wanna see the North Pole?
“That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…”
What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants?
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
“They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.”
“Dear Santa…Define good.”
“Little boy: Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother
Santa: Send me your m0ther”
“Santa saw your Instagram photos. You’re getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.”
“Dear Santa, I would like a new birth suit this year. The old one is wrinkly and sagging. Thank you!”
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
“A rebel without a Claus.”
What does One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common?
“They both have ornamental balls.”
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
“To keep her off the North Pole.”
What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and Santa?
“A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on.”
Why does Santa Claus like to get naughty after coming down the chimney?
“Because it soots him.”
What happened when Mr. and Mrs. Claus got randy beneath the Christmas tree?
“She came down with tinselitis!”
Why was the elf having trouble with his libido?
“He had low elf-esteem.”
Why is Santa so jolly?
“Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.”
Rude Christmas Jokes 2021
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
“Because he knows better than to try the back door.”
What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
“Their balls are just ornamental.”
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
“Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.”
Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store?
“He was desperate for some holiday spirit.”
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
“He sold his soul to Santa.”
What do three hos get you?
“One very jolly Santa.”
Dreaming of a white Christmas?
“Jingle my balls, baby.”
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
“Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.”
“I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come…Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.”
Why does Santa go to strip clubs?
“To visit all his ho ho ho’s.”
“Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…Can I visit between the holidays?”
Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
“He refused to let go of all those irritating ho’s.”
“Boy: Are you Christmas? ‘Cause I wanna merry you! Girl: Are you Hall? Cause I wanna deck The Hall.”
“So my girlfriend wanted a white Christmas…But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me.”
“You know, that’s not a candy cane in my pocket…I’m just THAT happy to see you.”
What do a train set and your wife’s boobs have in common?
“They were both made for kids but dads can’t help playing with them.”
What do you call a girl who cheats on you during the holidays?
“A ho ho ho bag.”
Why does Santa always land on your roof?
“Because he likes it on top.”
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
“Christmas is so stupid…Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.”
I hope these rude Christmas jokes are useful to share with friends and other people in your communities this holiday season.
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