100+ Best Turkey Jokes For Thanksgiving | Adults | Stories | One Liners 2022

If you’re looking for Turkey jokes for thanksgiving, we’ve got you covered with the top best and worst Thanksgiving jokes.

There will be plenty of corniness and sarcasm. So let’s fill this holiday with food, thanks, and humor.

Pick suitable turkey jokes for Thanksgiving for kids and adults then include funny, dirty stories and one liner to have a fun time.

Take a look below and have fun. Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey Jokes For Adults 2022

Turkey Jokes For Adults

Why do turkeys always go gobble gobble?
“Because they never had good table manners.”

 Why did the turkey call it quits at the farm?
“He was tired of the fowl language.”

Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they can’t talk!”

How did you know a turkey likes his dinner?
“He gobbles it up!”

What has feathers and webbed feet?
“A turkey wearing scuba gear”

Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?
“Because he had the drumsticks!”

 Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
“The turkey, he’s stuffed!”

Related: Turkey Jokes For Adults

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
“Apple-gobbler”

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
“The turkey trot”

What key has legs and can’t open doors?
“A turkey!”

Thanksgiving Jokes For Adults 2022

Thanksgiving Jokes For Adults

“You can mash my potatoes anytime.”

“I’ve got something for you to GOBBLE”

“I’ll have my slice with [insert a dirty word]”

“You make my turkey timer pop.”

“I hope that Turkey’s not the only thing about to get stuffed.”

“They say tying the legs together keeps everything moist.”

“Hey, bb, I heard you got a wishbone for me.”

Related: Dirty Thanksgiving Jokes One Liners For Adults

“Better save room for dessert, because the best flavor of pie is me.”

“Talk Turkey to me”

“I need only 30 seconds to make you meat thermometer pop.”

“I love it when you watch me baste my bird.”

“The table’s not the only thing that needs to get laid.”

“(with Turkey Br*asts) “Stop staring at my br*asts”

“Hello Gourd-geous”

“The turkey isn’t the only thing on this table that needs basting.”

“Baby, you’re like a turkey dinner: I’ll eat you with (cranberry) relish.”

“I’m going to need someone to help me get these pants off after this dinner….

Saving room for you for dessert.”

Related: Bad Thanksgiving Jokes

“My entire family keeps asking why I’m still single. Want to help me change that?”

“Ready to ditch your dinner and come baste my turkey instead?”

“What are you going for tonight: thighs or br*asts?”

“You’re the gravy to my turkey.”

“Let’s make like mac ‘n cheese and melt together.”

Thanksgiving Funny Stories And Jokes 2022

Thanksgiving Funny Stories And Jokes

Several years into our marriage, I hosted our first Thanksgiving dinner. I ran the dishwasher overnight, but it malfunctioned. On Thanksgiving morning I discovered that my plastic-handled flatware had melted into what looked like a display at the Museum of Modern Art. Luckily, the local housewares store was open. I bought replacements and ultimately did serve Thanksgiving dinner—albeit two hours late—but it was years before I hosted another major family gathering. By Michele Harber of Forest Hills, New York. 

Days before my wife and I got married, I was invited to my future in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner. We all brought something, and I volunteered to bring a Caesar salad. I called a restaurant, and they actually gave me their recipe. It called for 5 cloves of garlic but, at the time, I didn’t know the difference between a clove of garlic and the entire head. I’ll never forget the look on my future father-in-law’s face when he tried to eat that “thing” I created. “Wow…that’s tart!” he said. By John Certuse of Attleboro, Massachusetts. 

Thanksgiving was at my aunt’s house and I had promised to bring two pies—but not my new puppy. (Slugger was six months old.) Determined to impress, I baked a magnificent pumpkin pie with delicate pastry leaves embellishing the crust, and a blueberry one with a buttery woven lattice. I triple wrapped the pies in foil and headed out for a run. I returned home to find half-eaten pies—and a purple puppy. By Tina Koenig of Hollywood, Florida.

“A few years ago, my brother and I were tasked with making centerpieces for the Thanksgiving table. Honestly, we made really beautiful pieces — primarily featuring faux leaves. Well, during dinner, real candles were used in the center of them, resulting in mini fires all along the tables, halfway through dinner. Nothing like a bunch of incinerated fake leaves to make you realize you f*cked up, big time.” By bcousinsss

Related: Best Thanksgiving Jokes For Elementary Students

On Thanksgiving one year, I was racing home from work because I had several guests coming over for dinner. The only thing I still needed was a centerpiece for the table. I wanted a decorative squash, so I rushed to my local store and hunted for them until I saw the store manager. Flustered and out of breath, I yelled, “Are you out of your gourds?” to which he replied, “Why, what did we do this time?!” By Jill Brooks of Bountiful, Utah

I kept seeing ads for “the new, younger you,” so I went for a new hair consult. They shave your head, except for the sides, and sew in a weave to lock in the hairpiece. When I got home, my own dog wouldn’t let me in! Then I went to visit family at Thanksgiving. But when I walked up to my parents and brothers at the airport and went to hug my mom, she backed off and said, “Can I help you?” (The new me only lasted a year.) By Steve Morgese of McHenry, Illinois

Turkey Jokes And Riddles 2022

Turkey Jokes And Riddles

What happened to the turkey who fought with other chickens?
He got his stuffing knocked out of him.”

Can a turkey fly higher than the Empire State Building?
“Of course! After all, the building cannot fly.”

When does a turkey feel the most grateful?
“The day after Thanksgiving.”

Why did turkey say no to dessert?
“He said he was already stuffed.”

Have u heard about turkey’s new phone ringtone?
“It’s WingWingWing!”

Related: Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

Why did turkey create a band?
“Because he already had drumsticks.”

Why did a concert get cancelled?
“Somebody ate the drumsticks!!”

Dirty Turkey Jokes For Adults 2022

Dirty Turkey Jokes For Adults

“You’re sweeter than pumpkin pie.”

“You’re the only (cutie) pie I need.”

“You really spice up my pumpkin.”

“I’m losing my head over you!”“Let’s make like the pilgrims and faceplant on something rock-hard.”

“Like Thanksgiving, I come multiple times a year across various countries.”

“Let’s make like mac ‘n cheese and melt together.”

“Yes, you can butter my biscuit.”

“Gosh, I dunno if I can fit this drumstick onto my plate.”

Related: Dirty Turkey Jokes On Thanksgiving One Liners

“Let’s go make my Plymouth rock.”

“Can you help me out? I need something big for my centerpiece.”

“The best part of Thanksgiving is the stuffing.”

“You’re sweeter than a hot marshmallow on a candied yam.”

“Better save room for dessert, because the best flavor of pie is me.”

“This stuffing is the tur-key to my heart.”

“Do you have anything to put in my cornucopia?”

“This dinner isn’t the only thing that’ll make you want to take off your pants.”

“You’re what I’m most thankful for this year.”

“Forget the pie, you’re having me for dessert tonight.”

Related: Cheesy Thanksgiving Jokes

“I’d rather get lost in your sauce.”

“Skipping the stuffing because I know you’ll have some for me later tonight.”

“I’m ready to shuck your corn.”

Turkey Jokes For Kids 2022

Turkey Jokes For Kids

What’s pumpkin’s favorite thing to do on their free time?
“SQUASH!”

Who scared the cranberry?
“A Boo-berry.”

What happened to corn that got complimented at the dinner?
“Popped.”

How long does it take to eat one slice of pumpkin pie?
“3,14 seconds.”

Why are pilgrims’’ pants always too loose?
“Because they always wear buckles on their hats.”

Related: Funny Turkey Puns

April showers bring May flowers, guess what May flowers bring?
“Pilgrims.”

What genre do pilgrims listen to?
“Plymouth Rock.”

If pilgrims were alive today, what would be the most surprising thing about them?
“Their age.”

What would pilgrim wear for Thanksgiving dinner?
“A har-vest.”

Why turkey prefers android?
“Because he prefers say googlegoogle.”

How turkey got famous?
“He played in Harry Potter and the gobbler of fire”.

Why did turkey regret not studying spelling?
“He wrote gravy instead of grave in his testament.”

Related: Turkey Trivia Questions Quiz

What happened when turkey messed with bad boys?
“They beat the stuffing out of him!”

Which key is useless and have legs?
“Tur-key.”

Turkey Jokes One-Liners 2022

Turkey Jokes One-Liners

“Can you stuff me like a Thanksgiving turkey?”

“Glad I brought out the oven mitts, because you’re too hot to handle.”

“I’m going to make your Plymouth Rock. (Lolz.)”

“Do you want to hop on my gravy train?”

Related: Clean Thanksgiving Jokes

“Want to candy my yams?”

“I wanna see your horn of plenty.”

“Hope this dinner won’t be the only thing filling me up tonight.”

“I’d rather have you butter my biscuits.”

“Gobble gobble, I love watching you wobble.”

“I wanna play with your butterballs.”

“I’m ready to ride your Mayflower.”

“You put the “@ss” in casserole.”

“I’d rather be feasting on you tonight.”

Related: Cute Thanksgiving Sayings

“Let me give you another reason to feel thankful this year.”

“I’ve got something for you to gobble.”

“I’d rather swallow your gravy tn.”

“I’ve got something else for you to feast on.”

“Leave the pie. I have better plans for the whipped cream.”

“Even though I’m wifey you can hit like a side dish.”

Turkey Dad Jokes 2022

Turkey Dad Jokes

What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?
Squash”

What is Dracula’s favorite holiday of the year?
“It is Fangs-giving day.”

Why did the pilgrims’ pants always fall?
Because the pilgrims used to wear their buckles on their hats.”

What comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
“The letter ‘g.’”

Related: Turkey Dad Jokes

Why was the Thanksgiving feast extremely expensive?
“Because it had 24 carrots.”

What would the pilgrims be known for if they were still alive today?
Their age.”

What would happen if a cranberry became sad?
It would turn into a blueberry.”

How can you know the age of a pilgrim?
By asking them about pilgrim-age.”

Where did the Pilgrims first land?
On their feet.”

What will you call a creature who came back bloated from the Thanksgiving feast?
A stuffed animal.”

What pop song do people play on Thanksgivings day?
“All about that baste.”

Related: Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

What dish on the table makes the worst jokes at a Thanksgiving dinner?
The corny bread.”

What did the pilgrim call his friends who came with him on Mayflower?
“Pal-grims.”

What would you call it if someone presents you with a tofu-turkey?
“Pranks-giving Day.”

How did the pilgrims travel to pursue higher studies?
On scholarships.”

Funny Turkey Jokes For Thanksgiving 2022

Funny Turkey Jokes For Thanksgiving

Where can you find a turkey that doesn’t have legs?
On the Thanksgiving dinner table.”

What did the turkey say to the computer when it had to urgently search for something?
Google, google, google.”

What kind of music gadgets does turkey use at the Turkey day feast?
Drumsticks.”

Why can’t a turkey eat anything on the last Thursday of November?
“Because it is always stuffed.”

Related: Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Why was the turkey arrested by the police?
Because it was suspected of fowl play.”

What type of key can never open doors?
A tur-key.”

What will you call the ghost of a turkey?
“A poultry-geist.”

What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?
“Your teeth!”

Why did cranberries go red?
“They saw turkey dressing.”

Why did cranberries turn into blueberries?
“Someone was mean towards them.”

What type of dessert does a turkey have at the Turkey Day feast?
“Peach Gobbler.”

Related: Best Thanksgiving Memes

What did the dad say when his family told him to stop making lame jokes about cold turkeys?
“I can’t quit cold turkey.”

If a large turkey is called a gobbler, what would you call a baby turkey?
A goblet.”

How To Plan, Prep And Save For Your Thanksgiving Dinner

I hope you had fun reading these silly jokes, Have fun guys!

Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, trivia, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.

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