100+ Best Voting Jokes One Liners | Political | Election Day | Speeches | Voting 2024

Political jokes are always fun no matter what’s your side.

Therefore, here are some of the best handpicked voting jokes one liners to have great waves of laughter.

Moreover, these voting jokes include funny, dirty political, election day, and knock knock jokes to suit different moods and situations.

Pick suitable voting one liners and share them with friends and others to enjoy election day.

Take a look and have a fun time..!!

Voting Jokes One Liners 2024

Voting Jokes One Liners

Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
“Chairman Meow.”

How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
“All the red flags.”

Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
“Because proper tea is theft.”

Related: Friday Jokes For Office

If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?
“Jon Stewart”

What grows longer every election year?
“The branches of government.”

Political Jokes One Liners 2024

Political Jokes One Liners

“I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.”

“On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?”

“My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.”

“They should build the wall with Hillary’s emails because nobody can get over them.”

“A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.”

Related: One Liner Jokes For Adults

“They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.”

“Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.”

“Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!”

“I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand.”

“A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.”

“My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.”

“Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.”

“I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.”

“The EU now has 1 GB of free space.”

“If you are not part of the solution, you’re probably running for President”

“Trump should not have said “shit-hole countries”. The correct term is “turd-world countries”.

“What do you call a Russian procrastinator? Putinoff.”

“Why can’t Trump go to White house anymore? It’s FOR BIDEN.”

Related: Skeleton Puns Jokes | One Liners

“An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.”

“A woman’s age is harder to get than the President’s phone number.”

“Is yur name Atilla cuz you can be my hun anytime!”

“You must be from Pearl Harbor, ’cause baby, you’re the bomb.”

“A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged.”

“We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.”

“Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?”

“I got into an argument with a mime once, then I had to silence him.”

“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.”

“If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.”

Related: Funny Knock Knock Jokes

“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.”

“Without going to jail, you cannot be a big politician.”

“Political parties are like toilet paper. Whichever side you select, you end up getting poop!”

“Are you Greek (If No) are you sure cause you look like a goddess to me?”

“I went to a seafood diner last night. I pulled a mussell.”

“Politics is just show business for ugly people.”

“Everyone’s making memes on Iran and USA, meanwhile the struggle Israel.”

Funny Voting Jokes 2024

Funny Voting Jokes

“If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?”

What sport did the politician want to learn?
“How to Ballot Box”

What’s the biggest problem with political jokes?
“Too many of them get elected.”

What did the roller-blader wear to go voting?
“In-line skates.”

Who made it take so long to cast votes in Pennsylvania this year?
“Philly Buster”

Why was Evel Knievel criticized for jumping his motorcycle over the polling station?
“It was a politically motivated stunt.”

What did they say when they saw Abraham Lincoln in line at the polling place?
“You look great for your age!”

Related: Knock Knock Jokes To Start Conversations

Why did the boy vote for the bicycle?
“He liked how he spoke.”

Why couldn’t the spaghetti vote in this district?
“He was an impasta.”

Which country gets crowded with Americans on election day?
“Poland – because we are told to go to the polls.”

What is an October surprise to kids?
“When they get full-size candy bars trick-or-treating on Halloween.”

Who’s most cut out to cast a vote?

How do heavyweight boxers cast a vote on election day?
“With PUNCH card ballots.”

Election Day Jokes 2024

Election Day Jokes

Where did the politician take his wife for something sweet?
“On a candydate”

What is the capital of Washington?

Where can children vote?
“In swing states”

What is the capital of Alaska?
“Don’t Juneau this one?”

Related: Inappropriate Knock Knock Jokes

What grows longer every election year?
“The branches of government.”

Where do poll workers get trained?
“Electoral College”

What do you call an argument between a politician and one of his donors?
“A conflict of interest.”

What US state gives out tiny drinks to voters?

Why did the county legislator fall asleep?
“He was one of the Bored Members.”

What does it cost to vote?
“You’ll have to look at the Bill of Rights to find out.”

How hot was it in Arizona this summer?
“It was so hot that people were sweating like a politician on election day.”

What’s the difference between baseball and politics?
“In baseball, you’re called out if you’re caught stealing.”

What are politically enthusiastic Robins known for?
“Early Voting”

What happened when Ben Franklin told a joke to the Liberty Bell?
“It cracked it up.”

How did the poll worker get everyone to work together?
“She delegates.”

How did the US flag greet the Canadian flag?
“It waved.”

Related: Corny Jokes For Adults

What US state is the smartest?
“Alabama – it has four A’s and one B.”

Why was Ben Franklin so healthy?
“He had a good Constitution.”

Why does Mississippi see so many voters at the polls?
“Because it has 4 eyes.”

On election day, what did Delaware?
“Her New Jersey.”

What kind of limb did the candidate for president go on?
“An executive branch”

What did the corrupt senator order on election day?
“Stuffed ballots.”

Dirty Political Jokes 2024

Dirty Political Jokes

“Someone told me a joke about transgender surgery. Took balls to tell it.”

“So Donald Trump walks into a bar… and lowers it.”

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
“The letter F.”

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
“The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap”

Related: Spooky Jokes For Adults | Dirty

“9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.”

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?
“To keep his ankles warm.”

What does Bill say to Hillary after s*x?
“Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

What do Japanese men do when they vote?
“They have an er*ction.”

“My p*nis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.”

Political Jokes For Speeches 2024

Political Jokes For Speeches

“The House of Commons is the longest running farce in the West End.’

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country’.

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?
“Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man, Socialism is the exact opposite.”

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

Knock Knock Jokes About Voting 2024

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Deed who?
Deed-ya vote for anyone yet?!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chad who?
Dimpled Chad – please count me!

Related: Naughty Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Paul who?
Paulster looking to ask you a few questions about the election!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Maya who?
Maya vote was cast today!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
World’s Biggest Liar Who?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Obama Obama who?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Robert Mueller!
Robert Mueller who?
Doesn’t matter, you’ve been charged with treason.

I hope you had fun reading and sharing these Voting jokes one liners with your friends and others.

Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, trivia, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.

Related Topics:

Good Dad Jokes Never Heard
Dirty Jokes For A Guy
Dirty Jokes To Say To Your Girlfriend
New Dirty Jokes For Adults
Funny Jokes For Adults
Inappropriate Jokes For Adults
Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny
Flirty Dirty I Love You Knock Knock Jokes
Pirate Jokes | Pick Up Lines
Dirty Winter Jokes