70+ Valentine’s Jokes For Adults | Dirty | Rude | Clean | One Liners 2024

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We all know that Valentine’s is all about love. However, love is not always sweet but sometimes sour as well.

Therefore, here I have compiled some of the best Valentine’s jokes for adults that will crack you up.

Pick suitable valentine’s jokes that include dirty, rude and clean one liners to have a fun time with your love interest or partner.

Happy Valentine’s day..!!!

Dirty Valentine’s Jokes For Adults

Valentines Jokes For Adults Dirty

“I got more sweet treats for you than Whitman’s sampler.”

“Do you know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day? Well, I’m gonna show you tonight, over and over and over…”

What do single people call Valentine’s Day?
“Happy Independence Day!”

“Let’s sin
On a tiger skin
Or, if you prefer
We could err
On a different fur.”

What did the light bulb say to the switch?
“You turn me on.”

What is the difference between a calendar and you?
“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”


“Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night.”

“Tonight, you’re going to need a safe word, and the safe word is ‘be mine.’”

“Cards aren’t the only things that are going to be opening tonight.”

“I’m about to eat you like a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.”

“If you play your cards right, 2-14 is gonna add up to 69.”

“Tonight, I’m gonna put the V in your Valentine, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

“Your heart isn’t the only one of your organs I want to touch tonight.”

Rude Valentine Jokes For Adults

Rude Valentine Jokes For Adults

What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valen-tiny.”

“I gave blood today.
It may not be the best Valentine’s Day present, but at least it came from the heart.”

How did the phone propose?
“He gave her a ring.”

What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?

What do owls say to declare their love?
“Owl be yours!”

What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
Somebunny loves you!”


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Emma who?
“Emma” hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Luke who?
“Luke” who got a Valentine!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
The day after, when all the candy is on sale.”

What did one berry say to the other berry on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you “berry” much”

Clean Valentine Jokes For Adults

Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
“A calendar.”

What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?
“Bee mine.”

What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit?
“I found the perfect match!”

What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?

How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine?
“Whale you be mine?”


Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple’s song for two ghosts to share?
“Invisible String.”

How did the coin propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a jingle.”

Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator?
“He found her to be very attractive.”

What’s the best recipe for a perfect morning on February 14?
“A hug and a quiche.”

What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half!”

Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
“It was just puppy love.”

What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time?
“You’re choco-late.”

One Liner Valentines Day Jokes For Adults

Valentines Day Jokes For Adults One Liners

What’s the most romantic ship?

What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re a big dill to me.”

How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond?
“I’m nuts about you.”

How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans?
“They said it was a date.”

What did one cappuccino say to their shy crush?
“Espresso yourself.”


What message is on candy hearts for cats?
“You’re purr-fect!”

Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day?
“They’re so scent-imental.”

Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?
“Her heart wasn’t in it.”

What did one cantaloupe write to the other in their Valentine’s card?
“You’re one in a melon!”

How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet?
“By saying, ‘Hit me up!’”

Where did the high-heel take its date?
“To the football.”


How did one drum tell the other about its feelings?
“My heart beats for you.”

How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.

How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts?
“Become single.”

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