Funny 100 Nut Puns & Jokes That Walnut Disappoint 2021


Are you looking for nut puns and related to nut jokes on almond, macadamia, squirrel, hazelnut, etc?

If you are looking for an enjoyable and delicious snack idea for your family, consider trying out nut puns. In case you aren’t familiar with these delightful creations, they are little jokes that incorporate the flavors of nuts and jokes about nuts food.

If you wonder what nut puns could be made that are funny, clever, or just simple jokes on nut wordplay.

Here we have compiled the best nut puns and jokes to share with friends, family, and kids to have a fun time with them. You can begin with nut puns for Instagram, one line nut jokes, and funny nut names.

We have also included one liner nut puns, almond puns, cute nut puns, macadamia nut puns, squirrel puns, peanut puns, hazelnut puns, and many more different types of nuts puns.

Have a look and pick the suitable puns on and to share with others. Enjoy!

Cute Nut Puns And Funny Jokes In 2021

Here we have collected the best question answer nut puns that you can share with kids or friends to have a fun time. Also, these nut puns are perfect jokes to use on birthdays and nut love puns for Instagram captions. Have a look and pick the suitable puns on the nut. Enjoy!

Question Answer Nut Puns
Question Answer Nut Puns

What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise?
“A health nut.”

What did the squirrel say when it left?
“I will start my journey today and I wal-nut fail!

What do you call a nut that’s also a majestic sea creature?
“A Nar-walnut.

What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
“I will cashew.”

What nut makes you sneeze?
“A ca-shew!

Cashew Captions For Instagram
Cashew Captions For Instagram

Cashew a question?
“Nut now!”

What do you call a nut that likes chess?
“A chess-nut.”

What happens to a peanut when it goes to space?
“It becomes an astro-nut.”

What will Hamlet say if he was a squirrel?
“To be or nut to be!

What happens to a nut when it is nervous?
“It cracks.

Funny London Instagram Caption
Funny London Instagram Caption

Where do nuts live in West London?
“In Nut-tinghill.

What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.

What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven?
“Almond fire!

Related: 59 Best Bean Puns To Make Your Crowd Laugh, Cry, & Bake 2021

Have you seen how they milk an almond?
“It’s just nuts!

Why was there peanut butter on the road?
“It went with the traffic jam.”

Marzipan Puns For Caption
Marzipan Nuts Puns For Caption

What’s yellow, smells of almonds and swings from cake to cake?

What would the hanging nuts be called?

What was said by the wind to the palm tree?
“Protect your nuts this is no common blow task.”

What was said by the nut to chase the other nut?
“Imma cashew.”

Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”

Related: Best 100+ Apple Puns & Jokes For Insta Captions & Status 2021

What was said by the wire to the electrician?
“Don’t twist my nuts.”

What was said by the car driver to the nut?
“Where is your home?”

What was said by one nut to another nut?

What is done by a robot at the end of casual sex?
“The robot nuts and bolts.”

What sound is made by a nut when the nut sneezes?

Cashew Nut Insta Caption
Cashew Nut Insta Caption

What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”

What was said by the pedophile to the nutcracker?
“You are too young to be performing that.”

What type of number doesn’t like nuts?

Why didn’t Adolf Hitler hate nuts?
“Because he didn’t have two.”

What sound is made by a nut when it comes active ?

What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”

What type of nut doesn’t like baseball?
“A sick nut.”

Related: Best 90+ Clever Potato Puns & Jokes To Fry In 2021

Why do vegetarians give good head?
“Beause they’re used to eating nuts.”

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? “
“Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck.”

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?
“He nuts and bolts.”

Wheelchair Nut Caption
Wheelchair Nut Caption

What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts?
“He only had one.”

What do squats eat?

How do you get a squirrel to like you?
“Act like a nut.”

What kind of tree fits into your hand?
“A palm tree”

Related: 92 Best Candy Puns & Jokes You Can’t Resse-ist 2021

What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”

What is a nut that is in outer space?
“A broken nut”

Funny & Clever One Nut Puns And Jokes 2021

These are the best one-line nut puns for Instagram captions to post funny pics or selfies with matching hazelnut, peanut, macadamia, or almond captions. Moreover, you can improvise or modify these nutcracker jokes to share with others or friends and family over text or use them directly.

Funny Your Secret Insta Caption
Funny Your Secret Insta Caption

Have a look and pick the matching nut puns one line captions for Instagram, funny nut quotes, etc. Enjoy!

“Your secret is safe with me. I walnut give it away.”

“I will start my journey today and I walnut fail.”

“If I hang this on the wall, is it called a walnut?”

“The pecan and the walnut are good friends because they are both nuts.”

“I walnut forget your birthday, that’s for sure.”

Funny Peanuts Captions
Funny Peanuts Captions

“You walnut regret snacking on peanuts.”

“Mixed nuts are just cashews with obstacles.”

“Cashew see I’m nuts about you?”

Related: 100+ Best Chocolate Puns, Jokes & Funny Quotes 2021

“Hurry up, you better put your ca-shews on!”

“I must be rich because I have all the cash-ews.”

Funny See You Later Caption
Funny See You Later Caption

“I’ll cashew later!”

“I tried to come up with a squirrel pun but everything I thought of was nuts.”

“You pe-can do it!”

“The squirrel realized it was nuts when it was told you are what you eat.”

“Don’t look! I can see you pecan through the window.”

Funny No Pain No Gain Captions
Funny No Pain No Gain Captions

“No pine no gain!”

“The progress of the waiting line was pine-fully slow.”

“If you don’t like my jokes, I guess I’m acorn-y.”

“I want to tell you a peanut butter pun but you might spread it around.”

Related: 99 Best Pasta Puns & Jokes With Punny Sauce 2021

“I’m nuts about you!”

“Nut-thing lasts forever, except my love for you!”

“Nut that it matters, but I have some nuts for you.”

“I will nut tella anyone about our secret stash of nuts.”

“A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.”

“The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.”

Funny Acting Silly Nut Puns Captions
Funny Acting Silly Nut Puns

“If I’m acting silly, I guess I’m acting like a nut.”

“You could say that our family is like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!”

“This is nut so solid. It’s peanut brittle.”

“I must nut eat all the almonds!”

Related: 135 Beery Best Beer Puns & Jokes That You Can Barley Stand 2021

“If you put ice cream on that nutty brownie, it becomes ala-mond.”

“The covered almond looked at the mirror, and it said, that’s me in a nutshell.”

“Don’t panic, stay c-almond and collected.”

“The bare almond looked at its picture with clothes, and said, that’s me in a nutshell!”

“I love almond milk because it’s not like any udder milk.”

“Truck drivers who haul almonds are driving me nuts!”

“As alike as two peanuts in a pod.”

Rhymes & Miss Spelled Nut Puns Pick Up Lines 2021

If you looking for nut puns that rhyme with nut or nut-related wordplay jokes like almond, macadamia, squirrel, peanut, hazelnut, or similar then these are perfect to be used. Have a look and pick the suitable wordplay nut joke and puns. Enjoy!

Funny Not At All Captions
Funny Not At All Captions

Not/Nut: “Nut at all”

Knot/Nut: “Don’t get your knickers in a nut”

Pea/Peanut: “Easy as shelling peanuts.”

Nut/Chestnut: “As sweet as a chestnut”

Catch you/Cashew: “Careful, you don’t want them to cashew!”

Cash you/Cashew: “I’ll cashew in.”

Shoes/Cashews: “Kick off your cashews.”

Peeking/Pecan: “Pecan out through the window.”

Piquing/Pecan: “It’s pecan my curiosity.”

Well, not/Walnut: “Walnut like that”

Inspiring Wal-Nut Jokes
Inspiring Wal-Nut Joke

Will not/Walnut: “I walnut.”

Candle/Candlenut: “Can’t hold a candlenut to”

Calm/Palm: “Palm down”

Better/Betel: “I feel betel now”

Butter/Butternut: “Bread and butternut”

Heart/Heartnut: “A man after my own heartnut”

Sell/Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”

Related: 120 Pie Puns & Jokes To Bake You Happy 2021

Hell/Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”

Can all/Kernel: “You kernel get lost.”

Roar/Raw: “A rawing trade”

Rest/Roast: “At roast.”

Arrest/A roast: “You are under a roast.”

NSFW Nut Jokes 2021

I don’t get what’s so hard about No Nut November.
“It’s the 3rd day and I haven’t eaten any nuts yet. I just distract myself by constantly master-bating all day.”

What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
“Beer nuts are always over a dollar, whereas deer nuts are always under a buck.”

I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his nut sack with a straight razor?
“He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn’t got the balls to try it again.”

Post nut clarity can be devastating.
“It’s like cumming to your senses”

What do you call a robot’s one-night stand?
“A nut and bolt”

Related: 85+ Dirty Jokes For Adults That Are Actually Funny 2021

My girlfriend thought it would be kinky to paint our privates, but after I painted my nuts, she changed her mind and left.
“I’ve had blue balls ever since”

Truck nuts. The balls are on the outside…
“But the d#ck is on the inside.”

Why did Mr. Peanut divorce his wife?
“Because she was f#king nuts.”

My left nut thinks it’s better than my right nut.
“He can be egot*sticle.”

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
“Better hold onto your nuts; this is no ordinary BJ.”

Why does Chip ‘N Dale sit on their butts all day?
“To keep their nuts dry.”

Why do vegetarians give good head?
“Because they’re used to eating nuts.”

Hopefully, these nut puns & jokes are nutty and crackly, however, for more funny joke ideas, you try these animal puns, food puns, girlfriend puns, love puns.

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