These inappropriate and hilarious new dirty jokes for a girl to tell a guy and dirty pick-up lines.
They are absolutely suitable to fire off some kinky conversation with your boyfriend, crush, or guy friend with these dirty jokes for him.
Interestingly, there are two types of people, one who love dirty jokes and those who lie that they don’t but enjoys the most.
Using dirty pick-up lines and dirty jokes to tell a guy over text is one of the best ways to charm your crush, boyfriend, or partner.
As we’re in the 21st century and many rules are changing, therefore, it’s not always a guy’s job to initiate every move on his lady or girl.
Now it’s a 50-50 game when it comes to flirting with a guy or your love interest.
Don’t wait if you fall for him, you have to make him aware of your feelings to capture his attention.
Go ahead and throw in some funny lines and dirty jokes.
However, remember that not all funny dirty jokes and pick-up lines for guys can be appropriate.
Take a look below and pick the suitablegame-changing kinky, dirty jokes for a girl to tell a guy crush, boyfriend, or partner over text or face-to-face.
Table of Contents
Dirty Jokes For Him From Girls | Sexy (crush, boyfriend)
Here are these dirty jokes to tell your boyfriend over text or crush over text or face to face to make things extremely naughty and kinky. Pick suitable dirty jokes for him.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
“I want you inside me.”
They say that during s*x you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Who’s the most popular guy at the n*dist colony?
“The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.”
What’s the difference between k*nky and p*rverted?
“K*nky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, p*rverted is when you use the whole bird.”
How do you make a pool table laugh?
“Tickle its balls.”
If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
A n*ked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the 0rgan.
Why did the sp*rm cross the road?
“Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.”
Related: 85+ Dirty Jokes For Adults That Are Actually Funny 2024
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
“Because she outgrew her B-shells!”
What do you do when your cat’s dead?
“Play with the neighbor’s p*ssy instead.”
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used c0nd0ms?
“One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.”
What do you get when you cross a d*ck with a potato?
“A dictator!”
New Dirty Jokes For A Girl To Tell A Guy (crush, boyfriend) Over Text
These are naughty jokes for boyfriend that compiled new dirty puns for girls to tell a guy to spice things up. Pick suitable kinky jokes to tell your boyfriend or crush.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
“A Master Baiter.”
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
“The s*x is the same, but you get to use the remote.”
Why can’t you hear rabbits making love?
“Because they have cotton balls.”
What comes after 69?
“Mouthwash.”
What does Pinocchio’s lover say to him?
“Lie to me! Lie to me!”
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
“A wet nose.”
How do you make your girlfriend scream during s*x?
“Call and tell her about it.”
What’s the difference between hungry and h*rny?
“Where you stick the cucumber.”
What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
“Gum!”
What are the three shortest words in the English language?
“Is it in?”
What’s the difference between your p*nis and a bonus check?
“Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.”
What’s the difference between an 0ral and a r3ctal thermometer?
“The taste!”
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a c0nd0m?
“C0nd0ms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.”
What does the receptionist at a sp*rm bank say as clients leave?
“Thanks for coming!”
What’s long and hard and full of s*men?
“A submarine!”
Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Crush Over Text | Men |(Naughty)
These are dirty jokes to tell your crush (bf) over text or face to face to get things hot and heavy instantly. Pick suitable dirty jokes for men crush over text.
“No, I’m not 0vary acting.”
“Lick me ’till ice cream.”
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
“Snowballs.”
“Let’s play carpenter. First, we’ll get hammered. Then I’ll nail you.”
“It’s f*cking intense (in-tents).”
I’m trying to finish writing a script for an @dult film…
“But there are just too many holes in the plot.”
My friend met a male p*rn actor the other day.
“She told me he was really c0cky.”
Why is Santa’s sack is so big?
“He only comes once a year!”
“S*x on TV can’t hurt…Unless you fall off.”
Dirty Pick Up Lines To Use On Guys Over Text | Men | Significant Other
Is your name highway?
“Because I want to ride you all night long.”
“Let’s play Titanic, you’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.”
How much did you pay for those pants?
“Because you can get them 100% off at my place.”
Is there a mirror in your pants?
“Because I see myself in them.”
“I’m always on top of important things, would you like to be on the list?”
Are you a balloon?
“Because I want to blow you.”
Do you have a switch?
“Because I want to turn you 0n.”
Are you a campfire?
“Because you’re hot and I want some more.”
Are you an elevator?
“Because I wanna go up and down on you.”
Do you like sales?
“Because clothing is 100% off at my place.”
Related: 200+ R-Rated Dirty Pick Up Lines For Him 2024 (NSFW)
“You’re cute, has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together.”
Is your name winter?
“Because you’ll be coming soon.”
“You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.”
“They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?”
“I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?”
“I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours”
“Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.”
“I lost my keys… can I check your pants?”
“Do I have to sign for your package?”
“Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.”
Are you a trampoline?
“Because I want to bounce on you.”
“69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.”
“Having s*x in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.”
Why do vegans give better head?
“They’re used to eating nuts.”
Why is s*x like math?
“You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.”
How is a thunderstorm similar to s*x?
“You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.”
How is playing bridge similar to s*x?
“If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.”
Related: 34+35 Best Dirty Pick Up Lines For Tinder For Men and Women 2024
How is life like a p*nis?
“It sometimes gets hard when you least expect it.”
Want to know why women don’t blink before 4-play?
“Not enough time.”
“I think s*x is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.”
How is s*x like a game of bridge?
“With a great hand, you don’t even need a partner.”
Funny Dirty Pick Up Lines Jokes For Girls To Use On Guys
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?
“About three inches.”
What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with b00bs?
“One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.”
What do a p*nis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
“The more you play with it, the harder it gets.”
What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
“A tearjerker.”
What do tofu and a d*ldo have in common?
“They are both meat substitutes.”
What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster?
“A c0ck that stays up all night.”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
“Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary bl*wj0b.”
What did the guy say when he got caught m*sturb*ting to an optical illusion?
“It’s not what it looks like!”
I hope these dirty jokes to tell a guy makes help you express your naughty feeling to your guy crush, partner, or boyfriend.
Moreover, you can take a look at these huge collections of Pick Up Lines for crushes, boyfriends, or friends that suit different moods and situations.
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