70+ Best Funny Corny Jokes For Adults | Dirty | Short | 2024

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Generally, we use funny jokes for specific situations or people but corny jokes are perfect for the whole family and are bound to make everyone smile.

So we have prepared a list of the best corny jokes to crack up anyone and everyone into giggling around you including you.

Hopefully, you’ll love this cheesy collection of corny jokes for adults that include dirty text jokes to make you laugh.

Take a look and pick suitable corny jokes to make funny memes and riddles to ask others. Enjoy!

Short Corny Jokes For Adults 2024

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What are the three shortest words in the English language?
“Is it in?”

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What’s long and hard and full of semen?
“A submarine.”

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“You must be a doctor! You just cured my er*ctile dysfunction.”

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What comes after 69?

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What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
“A guy will actually search for a golf ball.”

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
“Thanks for coming!”

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
“Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.”

What did one butt cheek say to the other?
“Together, we can stop this crap.”

What do you call a herd of cows m@sturbating?
“Beef strokin’ off”

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
“A private tutor.”

What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft?
“Chewing gum.”

What did the penis say to the c0ndom?
“Cover me, I’m going in.”

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“I lost my v*rginity. Can I have yours?”

“Hello, I’m bis*xual. I’d like to BUY you a drink… and then get s*xual.”

“I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way and you’ll be lovin’ it.”

Dirty Funny Jokes To Make You & Others Laugh 2024

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What is a long, wide thing that men carry hanging in front of it?

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What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster?
“My zipper.”

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What’s the difference between Covid and your legs?
“I don’t want Covid to spread.”

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
“You can unscrew a lightbulb.”

What’s the difference between @nal and 0ral s*x?
“Oral s*x makes your day. An*l makes your h0le weak.”

What’s still together after all the sh*t they’ve been through?
“Your b*tt cheeks.”

Do you know what 6.9 is?
“A good thing screwed up by a period.”

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What’s the difference between you and the refrigerator?
“The refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it.”

What’s the difference between a job and marriage?
“A job still sucks after 10 years.”

Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much?
“Because one has two lips and one has two heads.”

Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one?
“Because the old one has shaky hands.”

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
“The Head nurse.”

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
“a PDF File”

What do tofu and a d*ldo have in common?
“They are both meat substitutes”

How is p*bic hair like parsley?
“You push it to the side before you start eating.”

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What’s the speed limit of s*x?
“68, at 69 you have to turn around.”

Funny Corny Jokes That Make You Laugh 2024

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
“14 carrot gold.”

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
“It lifts their spirits.”

How do you tell if a vampire is sick?
“See if he’s coffin.”

What does a baby computer call his father?

How do you make an octopus laugh?
“With ten-tickles.”

“I bought a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words as well!”

“My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read anything!”

What word starts with “e,” ends with “e,” and only has one letter in it? “Envelope.”

Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?
“Because it would blow his cover.”

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
“A barber-queue.”

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
“A receding hare line!”

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Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
“Too many cheetahs!”

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
“Because he’s always lion!”

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

When do computers overheat?
“When they need to vent.”

Short Funny Jokes 2024

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
“I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

What do kids play when their mom is using the phone?
“Bored games.”

What is fast, loud and crunchy?
“A rocket chip.”

How does the ocean say hi?
“It waves!”

What did one traffic light say to the other?
“Stop looking at me, I’m changing!”

“Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!”

What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
“Freeze. You’re under a vest.”

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
“Because they make up everything.”

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Where are average things manufactured?
“The satisfactory.”

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
“The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
“Man overboard!”

Where do fish sleep?
“In the riverbed.”

“My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.”

What did one plate say to his friend?
“Tonight, dinner’s on me!”

What do you call a singing laptop?
“A Dell!”

Hilarious Joke Of The Day 2024

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
“There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.”

Why did the farmer win an award?
“He was outstanding in his field.”

What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?

How did the barber win the race?
“He knew a shortcut.”

Why are frogs are so happy?
“They eat whatever bugs them.”

What did one hat say to the other?
“You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.”

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“An apple a day really can keep the doctor away … but only if you aim it well.”

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
“They always take things literally.”

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
“The space bar.”

Why did Oreo go to the dentist?
“Because he lost his filling.”

What do you get from a pampered cow?
“Spoiled milk.”

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What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?
“A father-in-law.”

Funny Text Jokes For Adults 2024

Why do ducks have feathers?
“To cover their butt quacks!”

Why should you never trust stairs?
“They’re always up to something.”

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

What does a house wear?

What gets wetter the more it dries?

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
“In case he got a hole in one.”

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Where do snowmen keep their savings?
“In the snowbank.”

Whats 72?
“69 with three people watching.”

“Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

“Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.”

Why did the tomato turn red?
“It saw the salad dressing.”

“A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

What kind of shoes does a spy wear?

What did the tie say to the hat?
“You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.”

Why are crabs so bad at sharing?
“Because they’re all shellfish.”

I hope you have found these funny corny jokes to make you laugh and others as well, especially adults.

Moreover, check out these riddles and memes on food, holiday, love, and animals to get you more ideas for different moods and situations.

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