During the rainy season, umbrellas are the best buddy for all age groups of people.
Therefore, here are a few umbrella jokes to whet your appetite.
Or, you can use these jokes to throw some pickup lines on girls and guys for an instant impression.
Best Umbrella Jokes | One-Liners | Pick Up Lines 2022
Why do people in cities often carry umbrellas?
“Because umbrellas can’t walk.”
What goes up when the rain comes down?
Finished my job at the umbrella factory.
“I was only covering for someone.”
When does a detective carry an umbrella?
“When he’s undercover…”
“An economist friend told me to put something away for a rainy day.
I’ve gone for an umbrella.”
Why does Santa have a really big umbrella?
“Because of all the rain, dear…”
Related: Good Dad Jokes Never Heard
What sort of pub should you take an umbrella to?
What do you call Paddington without an umbrella?
“A drizzly bear.”
Why did the man put his umbrella away and open his wallet?
“He was hoping for some change in the weather.”
The guy who invented the umbrella wanted to call it the “Brella”
“But he hesitated”
“Short people with umbrellas always catch my eye.”
“I lent a girl my umbrella yesterday now the amount of girls I made wet this year is -1.”
“My umbrella broke in half but Its okay theres only a 50% chance of rain”
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
“When it’s not raining.”
You should never trust umbrella companies
“They run a shady buisness”
Why do the English always carry umbrellas?
“Because umbrellas can’t walk”
Don’t tell clever jokes about umbrellas.
“They just go over people’s heads !”
Related: Guess What Jokes
Why did the icecream have an umbrella?
“Because there were to many sprinkles!”
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
“Fo drizzle, my nizzle.”
“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!”
“She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.”
Why did the Penguin open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion?
“Because it was a Wayne-y day.”
Why would you want a chicken-proof umbrella?
“To use when the weather is fowl.”
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella?
Asked my iPhone, “surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”.Siri replied “yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.
Turned out I had left Airplane mode on.”
Why did the German carry three umbrellas?
“Because he wanted to stay drei”
My girlfriend said that once we get married I can stop wearing condoms!!
“Guess you don’t need an umbrella if it’s never gonna rain..”
A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella.
“She notices Jerry colouring his duck blue and asks “where did you see a blue duck?” He replies “where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?”
Related: Best Weather Jokes & Puns
I realized placing a long umbrella on my back does not make me like a ninja samurai…
“But more like a Teletubbies.”
One umbrella turns to another and says
“You don’t really look that good bro”.
The other replies, “Yeah, I’ve been feeling kinda under the weather”.
IRS Agent:** You can’t deduct and umbrella!
“Taxpayer:** Why not? It’s overhead, isn’t it?”
What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?
Why do you put a little umbrella in a dry martini?
“To keep it from getting wet”
Related: Beery Best Beer Puns & Jokes
The Energizer Bunny stole the Morton’s girl umbrella.
“It was assault with battery!”
Jesus is coming!
“Hope you have an umbrella.”
Mr. Trump to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It’s already raining.
Mr. Trump : So what take an umbrella and go.
What makes a happy umbrella?
“a one that takes in the reins”
Forecast calls for rain so I’ll bring an umbrella.
“It’s the wetness protection program.”