Here is a list of the best pirate jokes for you to share with your friends on this booty-ful day!
“International Pirate Day” is September 19! Do you love a good pirate joke as we do?
Whatever you do, before every pirate joke be sure to say “ARRRRRR matey” for even more fun!
Table of Contents
Pirate Jokes For Adults | Sayings 2023
Why did the pirate confuse all of his Tinder dates?
“They couldn’t figure out if he was blinking or winking.”
“You don’t have to pay to get on board my ship.”
Why did the pirate get a gym membership?
“So he could improve his booty and his chest.”
“Bring on the storm, I like it rough.”
What do pirates wear when it gets really cold?
“Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.”
“Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.”
What is a gay pirates favourite hobby?
“Sailing the 7 D’s.”
Related: Best Funny Corny Jokes
What did the pirate say to the flying hooker?
Why don’t pirates go to str*p clubs?
“Because they already have all the booty!”
Flirty Pirate Jokes Pick Up Lines | Sayings 2023
Here are the best flirty pirate jokes pick up lines you can share with your love interest about captain, pirates, etc.
“Baby, my ship was sunk till I saw you.”
“Not only do I have a ship, but it’s a long one.”
“Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?”
“Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?”
“All hands on deck!”
“Arg baby, Arg.”
“You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you’re the bomb.”
Related: Best Mom Jokes
“A good captain goes down with his ship, wanna go down with me?”
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrr you free this Saturday?”
“You can sail my seven seas.”
“WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!”
“Just because one eye is patched doesn’t mean I don’t see how beautiful you are.”
“Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber!”
Dirty Pirate Jokes For Adults | One Liners 2023
Here are dirty pirate jokes one liners you can have fun with. Take a look and pick suitable dirty-minded pirate sayings.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
“You raise my Jolly Roger.”
“See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.”
“Hey, s*xy — how about a Jolly Rogering?”
“I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.”
“I’ll bet you can’t find my buried treasure.”
“It would make me Jolly if we could Roger.”
“Want to see my 9mm?”
“Wanna take a ride in my crows nest?”
“Why did the pirate go to college?”
“Well blow me down?”
“You’re guilty of being a hot wench…i sentence you to walking my plank.”
“You. Pants Off. Now! (Female Pirate)”
“Polly wants a crack-wh0re.”
Related: Dirty Jokes For Adults
“Strike yer p@nties and prepare to be boarded, lassie!”
“That’s not an echo, my parrot thinks you’re s*xy too.”
Pirate Jokes One Liners 2023
“Permission to fire my cannon through your portholes?”
“Arrrrrrrrre ye free tonight, after bedtime?”
“I know where you can bury your treasure.”
“To err is human. To arr pirate.”
“Wanna see the world’s best pirate booty?”
“Can I help making your roger a little more jolly?”
What’s a pirate use his cell phone for?
“Your Jolly Roger ain’t the only thing ye’ll be raisin’ tonight.”
“Prepare to be boarded!”
“Lookin’ for booty? Mine’s ready for pillaging.”
“Come dock in my port.”
“Baby, you unfurl my sails.”
Good Pirate Jokes 2023
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
“Aye to aye!”
How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
Why’d the pirate go to the Apple store?
“He needed a new ipatch”
What do you call a pirate with 2 arms and 2 legs?
How do pirates know that they are pirates?
“They think, therefore they ARRRR!”
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
“Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.”
Related: Dirty Jokes For A Girl To Tell A Guy
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
“Because they can spend years at C.”
“Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation? (software pirates only)”
How do you save a dying pirate?
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?
“Shiver me timbers!”
Why is pirating so addictive?
“They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.”
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
“An arm and a leg.”
Related: Adult Halloween Jokes
Why did the pirate cross the road?
“To get to the second-hand shop”
Why did the pirate go to college?
“to become an arrrrrrchitect!”