Here are some of the best weather jokes and puns to have a fun time sharing jokes on hot, cold, rainy weather.
Take a look and pick your favorite jokes for kids and adults for a fun activity asking riddles over text. Enjoy!
Weather Jokes For Adults 2022
How do you prevent a summer cold?
“Catch it in the winter.”
How do hurricanes see?
“With one eye!”
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
What type of lightning likes to play sports?
What did one lightning bolt say to the other?
What did one thermometer say to the other thermometer?
“You make my temperature rise.”
What happens when the fog lifts in California?
What did one hurricane say to the other?
“I have my eye on you.”
How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation?
“Go outside and look up.”
When are your eyes not eyes?
“When the cold wind makes them water!”
What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you.”
What does everyone listen to, but no one believes?
“The weather reporter.”
Related: Naugh-Tea Puns & Jokes
Why is the sun so smart?
“It has over 5,000 degrees.”
What do you call it when it’s pouring ducks and geese?
What is the best day to go to the beach?
“Sun-day, of course.”
What does a weatherman wear under his trousers?
Did you hear about the woman who wore sunglasses?
“She took a very dim view of things.”
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why did the lightning get into trouble?
“It didn’t know how to conduct itself.”
What do you eat when you’re stuck in cold weather and angry about it?
What is a king’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
What do you call a bear that got caught in a storm?
“A drizzly bear.”
What is a queen’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Where do lightning bolts go on dates?
“To cloud nine.”
Where do snowmen keep their money?
“In a snow bank.”
What cloud is so lazy that it never gets up?
Related: Dirty Jokes For Adults
What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
“One is reined up and the other rains down.”
What do you call a kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?
How did my cat know about tomorrow’s weather?
“He looked at the fur-cast.”
Weather Jokes One Liners 2022
“Local weather reports say there won’t be any rain for a year, but I drought it.”
“When it rains chickens and ducks, you could say it’s fowl weather.”
“It was so cold, one man fell out of bed and broke his pyjamas!”
“The weather forecast was for freezing cold hail, and sure enough, it was an ice day.”
“It only rains twice a year in London: August through April and May through July.”
“It was so cold outside that hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!”
“You need to try meditating during a storm. It’s a really in-lightening experience.”
“If you think raining cats and dogs is bad, you should see hailing taxis!”
“Never mind cats and dogs, it was raining chickens and ducks yesterday. Fowl weather.”
“As raindrops say, two’s a company, three’s a cloud.”
Related: Funny Winter Jokes
“I’m saving for a rainy day. So far, I have an anorak, a couple of macs, and a dinghy.”
“You never see owls being amorous in the rain. It’s too wet to woo.”
“The weather forecast says it won’t rain for three months, but I drought it.”
“A friend of mine did his pilot’s exam just after a storm and flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colors.”
“Where’s the best place to store your rain? In a cloud bank.”
Weather Jokes For Kids 2022
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
“Want to go for a spin!”
What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
What bow can’t be tied?
What falls but never hits the ground?
What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
How hot is it?
“It’s so hot, when I turned on my lawn sprinkler, all I got was steam!”
What is the opposite of a cold front?
“A warm back”
Why did the woman open her purse in the park?
“She expected some change in the weather.”
Why did the hurricane wear a monocle?
“It only had one eye!”
How does the rain tie its shoes?
“With a rainbow!”
Related: Cold Weather Jokes And Riddles
What did one raindrop say to the other?
“Two’s company. Three’s a cloud!”
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
“You might step in a poodle!”
What goes up when the rain comes down?
Why was the lightning bolt in the news?
“Are you sure you want to know… it’s shocking!”
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
“Want to go for a spin?”
Why should you avoid tornado chasers?
“They’re always passing wind.”
Why shouldn’t you fight with a cloud?
“He’ll storm out on you!”
Thunderstorm Jokes 2022
“I saw a turtle during a thunderstorm, You could say he was shellshocked.”
“I went out in a thunderstorm carrying a metal pipe, What happened next shocked me.”
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
“You’ll never catch me copper!”
What is big and black and gets you wet?
What’s the difference between your @$$ and a thunderstorm?
“Only one of them is getting clapped tonight”
“We had a Bill Cosby thunderstorm recently, The kind that comes while you’re asleep”
Weather Puns 2022
“The hottest day of the week is Sun-day.”
“Coming up with weather-related puns is a breeze.”
“Lightning storms can be very striking.”
“I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.”
“Winter puns are snow jokes!”
“You don’t like my puns? How cold!”
“Rain doesn’t fall…it raindrops!”
Hot Weather Puns 2022
“I received a message from the sun. After reading it, I was enlightened.”
“Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.”
“The brightest days of the months are the sun-days.”
“I’m going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It’s a very heated topic.”
“It’s so hot outside everyone is wearing sweat pants.”
“It’s so hot that when I saw a heatwave, I waved back.”
“I spent 60 seconds in this 90-degree weather. It’s been a hot minute.”