Valentine’s day is the most romantic day of the year according to many people (love birds).
To make this day a fun time with your crush, partner, etc on February 14 then share these love Valentine jokes for kids and adults to share with others.
Grab a box of chocolates and write out your Valentine’s messages or Instagram captions using these cheesy, flirty, funny, corny jokes on valentine’s day!
These cute and funny Valentine jokes will make your loved ones LOL all day long.
Take a look below and pick suitable valentine day jokes, memes, and riddles for your crush, girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, etc. Enjoy!
Table of Contents
Valentine Jokes For Kids 2024
What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?
“A valen-teeny.
What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you!”
How did the phone propose to his GF?
“He gave her a ring.”
What did the one sheep say to the other?
“I love ewe!”
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
“Hogs and kisses.”
What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
“I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!”
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
“Their ghoul-friend.”
Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?
“Because you can really party hearty!”
What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day?
“Cauliflowers!”
Related: Guess What Jokes
What type of shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day?
“Acute triangle.”
Have you got a date for Valentine’s Day?
“Yeah, it’s February 14th.”
What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?
“Be my Valenstein!”
What flowers get the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?
“Tulips (two-lips).”
What kind of candy is never on time?
“Choco-LATE.”
What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
“With love and hisses.”
Valentine Jokes Poems 2024
“Of loving beauty, you float with grace. If only you would hide your face.”
“Kind, intelligent, loving and hot, This describes what you are not.”
“I want to feel your sweet embrace, But leave that paper bag on your face.”
“I love your smile, your face, your eyes, And I’m really good at telling lies.”
“My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you have ruined my life.”
“I see your face when I am dreaming, That’s why I always wake up screaming.”
“My love, you take my breath away, I guess you haven’t showered today.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, Sorry I’m snotty, but I’ve got the flu.”
‘Roses are red, violets are blue, Life was OK until I met you.”
“Violets are blue, roses are red, You don’t look too bad with that bag on your head.”
Related: Dirty Jokes For A Girl To Tell A Guy
“Violets are blue, roses are red, Shame your backside is the size of a shed.”
“Violets are blue, roses are red, Your beard is smelly – why not shave off your head?”
Dark Valentine’s Jokes 2024
“That thumping sound from under the floorboards is just my love for you Valentine. “Edgar Allen Poe
“I want to make a lampshade out of your skin. Why? Because you light up my life!” Hannibal Lector
“I want to be the man of your dreams.” Freddy Krugere
“I got this valentine card today signed ‘Love from you know who’ why the hell is Lord Voldemort sending me a valentine’s card?” Harry Potter
“Love is in the air? False: nitrogen, oxygen, argon, and carbon dioxide are in the air.” Dwight Schrute
“You’re so cute, I could just eat you up!” Jeffrey Dahmer
“There are three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the marriage ring, and the suffering”
Funny Valentine Jokes 2024
Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
“A calendar.”
What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?
“Bee mine.”
Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple’s song for two ghosts to share?
“Invisible String.”
How did the coin propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a jingle.”
What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time?
“You’re choco-late.”
What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit?
“I found the perfect match!”
What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?
“Well-red.”
Related: Dirty Jokes For Adults
What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half!”
Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
“It was just puppy love.”
Why did the dad approve of his daughter’s goalie-boyfriend?
“He was a real keeper.”
What do you call two sparrows who just got engaged?
“Lovebirds.”
Why were the forks disappointed on Valentine’s Day?
“All they wanted to do was spoon.”
What’s the most romantic ship?
“Courtship.”
How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond?
“I’m nuts about you.”
How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet?
“By saying, “Hit me up!”
What did one cappuccino say to their shy crush?
“Espresso yourself.”
What message is on candy hearts for cats?
“You’re purr-fect!”
Related: Funny Pun Compliments
Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day?
“They’re so scent-imental.”
How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
Corny Valentine Jokes And Riddles 2024
What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
“Be my Valen-slime!”
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you!”
What’s Cupid’s favorite band?
“Kiss!”
What do you call two birds in love?
“Tweethearts!”
What did the scientist say to her valentine?
“I think of you periodically.”
How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?
“It goes nuts!”
Related: Dirty Jokes To Say To Your Girlfriend
What did the calculator say to the pencil?
“You can count on me.”
How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a ring!”
What did one oar tell the other oar?
“This is so row-mantic!”
What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?
“You light my world up.”
How can you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?
“For stealing someone’s heart.”
Valentine Knock Knock Jokes 2024
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas be mine!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butch, Jimmy and Joe.
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and lets Joe.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Disguise.
Disguise who?
Disguise is your boy friend!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard, you like a big kiss?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea my Valentine!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Valentine’s Day!
Related: Dirty Winter Jokes For Adults
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Zoo.
Zoo who?
Zoo want to be my Valentine?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you be my valentine?!
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Eye
Eye who?
Eye want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!
Related: Weather Jokes & Puns
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut you know I love you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kiss
Kiss who?
Kiss me!
Valentine Jokes For Adults 2024
How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts?
“Become single.”
“I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my true love… food.”
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day?
“Happy Independence Day!”
“Forget Valentine’s Day. I’m just waiting for the discounted chocolate.”
“I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single.”
What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
“February 14.”
What are insects called when they’re dating?
“Lovebugs.”
What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine’s Day?
“Lovesick.”
How do sheep share their feelings with each other?
By saying, “I love ewe.”
What do you call a happy couple who first met via Twitter?
“Tweethearts.”
Why was the canoe considered a heartthrob?
“He was so row-mantic.”
What can get you in trouble with the law on Valentine’s Day?
“Stealing too many hearts.”
What do pieces of fruit write to each other in their V-Day cards?
“I love you berry much!”
What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid’s arrow?
“Ouch!”
Valentine Jokes One Liners 2024
“Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?“
What would you call a woman who goes out with You?
“Desperate!”
How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
“He gave her a ring.”
What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
“Forget-me-nuts.”
“I’m gonna spend Valentine ‘s Day with my ex… Box 360.”
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
“You turn me on.”
What is the true purpose of Valentine’s Day?
“To remind single people they are single.”
Related: Naugh-Tea Puns & Jokes
What is a ram’s favorite song on February 14th?
“I only have eyes for ewe, dear”
Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?
“Because you can really party hearty!”
What do you call a very small valentine?
“A valentiny.”
Best Valentine’s Day Pun Jokes 2024
“I love you so matcha.”
“Will you brie mine?”
“I’m b-egging you to be my Valentine.”
“There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.”
“You make miso happy.”
“You’re the loaf of my life.”
“We’re mint to be.”
Related: Apple Puns & Jokes For Insta Captions
“I yam in love with you.”
“We’re butter together.”
“You’re all that and dim sum.”
“You look so BOOtiful.”
“Whale you be mine?”
I hope these valentine jokes, puns, and riddles for kids and adults are a fun activity to do with your crush, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, friends, etc.
Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, animals, and holiday to get more ideas that suit different moods and situations.
Related Topics:
Juicy Watermelon Puns, Jokes & Riddles
Bean Puns To Make Your Crowd Laugh, Cry, & Bake