Here are some of the best dirty dad jokes to help you share with people in your communities.
Pick suitable dirty dad jokes that you’ll enjoy sharing with friends and people around you.
Table of Contents
Dirty Dad Jokes For Adults
What do you call a m@sturbating cow?
What do you call it when a hotel mattress is ruined from too much vacation s*x?
Why didn’t 1 get together with 3?
“They weren’t ready to try a 3-sum.”
“It’s okay if your phone autocorrects ‘f#ck’ to ‘duck.’ You’re still using fowl language.”
“Having s*x in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.”
“I recently came into a bunch of money…which is strange for me, I usually just use a paper towel.”
“My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially because his name’s Steve.”
What do you call someone who is a master at baiting?
“A skilled seaman.”
How does a Rock pee?
“Dwayne’s his Johnson.”
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his t*sticl*s in glitter?
What has two butts and kills people?
“My girlfriend said she was going to get a colonic. Turns out she was full of sh*t.”
What do you call Richard’s selfie?
“A D*ck pic.”
Dirty Dad Jokes One Liners
“I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.”
“My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his b-r-a again.”
“If s*x is a pain in the @ss, then you’re doing it wrong …”
“If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.”
“I’ve been taking Vi*gra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.”
“If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small B00BS.”
“Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some @ssh0le.”
“I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.”
“Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
“I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.”
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married?
“The wedding ring.”
What does a p*rverted frog say?
What do you call a l*sbian dinosaur?
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
Dirty Dad Jokes Pick Up Lines
Was your dad a boxer?
“Because you’re a knockout!”
“I don’t want to have kids with you, but I’m happy to help you practice.”
“I can’t find my treasure anywhere. Can I search your chest and see if it’s there?”
“Well, lucky me. I’ve checked off my whole to-do list except for one thing: you.”
“I’ve got to admit, I was feeling a little off earlier. But the minute you walked in, you turned me on.”
“I hope you never change, but leave your clothes off if you do.”
“You must have been born on the moon because your body is out of this world.”
“Want to help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?”
“Did you hear that there’ll be only 7 planets remaining after I destroy Uranus?”
Do you like raisins?
“How do you feel about a date?”
“Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
“If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”
Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of?
Dirty Dad Jokes For Tinder
Was your dad a baker?
“Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.”
Hey girl, is your name winter?
“Because you’ll be coming soon.”
Do you believe in karma?
“Because I know some good karma-s*tra positions.”
Do you like to draw?
“Because I put the D in Raw.”
“Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?”
“The FBI wants to steal my p*nis. Can I hide it inside you?”
Do you have any Italian in you?
“Would you like some?”
“Tell your B00BS to stop staring at my eyes.”
“If I’m a pain in your @ss… We can just add more lubricant.”
Are you a cowgirl?
“Because I can see you riding me.”
Dirty Dad Jokes To Tell Your Wife
Are you a farmer?
“Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons.”
“You can call me cake, because I’ll go straight to your @ss.”
“Call me leaves, because you should be blowing me.”
“As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.”
Want a job?
“Let’s help Mother Earth and save water by showering together.”
“Is there space in your mouth for another tongue?”
“I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?”
“Will you help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?”
Corny Dad Jokes
Best Fathers Day Jokes
Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny
Winter Dad Jokes One Liners
Good Dad Jokes Never Heard
Happy Father’s Day Memes That Are So True
Funny Father’s Day Gifts To Give A Dad Good Laugh