70+ Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny | Dirty | Fresh 2022

Whether your father has a sense of humor or not, likely, he has occasionally cracked a few dad jokes.

Dad jokes are different from ordinary jokes.

They’re a “wholesome joke,” with a “pun or play on words” that is usually evident or expected as the finish.

We have gathered a list of funny, dirty, fresh, and good dad jokes that are actually funny for you.

Moreover, these include fresh dad Jokes, memes, and riddles to fit any mood or situation to have a fun time.

So check them out.

Funny Dad Jokes For Adults

Funny Dad Jokes For Adults

“I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it’s more of a wrap.”

“If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an Witness?”

“A witch’s vehicle goes brrroom brrroom!”

“If the early bird catches the worm, I’ll sleep in until there are pancakes.” 

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
“14 carrot gold.”

What do you call a sleeping bull?
“A bulldozer.”

Why did the photo go to jail?
“It was framed.”

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Why did the baby strawberry cry?
“His parents were in a jam.”

What did the ocean say to the sand?
“Nothing — it just waved.”

“The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.”

“I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.” 

Finest Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard

Dad Jokes You've Never Heard

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
“Roberto!”

“A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?””

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
“A ba-na-na-naaaa.”

Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
“Because they’re shellfish.”

Did you hear about the circus fire?
“It was in tents!”

“I’ve got a great pizza joke for you. Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.”

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
“Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.”

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“I’ll call you later.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”

“Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”

Do you want a box for leftovers? 
“No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”

Dirty Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Dirty Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny

What did the penis say to the c*ndom?
“Cover me, I’m going in”

What did one butt cheek say to the other?
“Together, we can stop this shit.”

What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft? 
“Chewing gum”

What do you do with a year’s worth of used c*ndoms?
“Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.”

How is a boyfriend/girlfriend like a laxative?
“They both irritate the shit out of you.”

 What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? 
“Thanks for coming!”

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
“Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary b1owjob.”

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Whats 72?
“69 with three people watching.”

What did the panis say to the vagena? 
“Don’t make me come in there!”

Which s#xual position produces the ugliest kids?
“Ask your mum!”

Fresh Dad Jokes That Are Witty

Fresh Dad Jokes

“I get all kinds of weird looks at the gym. Can’t they bring their own pizza?”

What is yellow and kills you if you get it in the eyes?
“A school bus.”

“It always takes two to create trouble in a marriage. The wife and the mother-in-law.”

What is black, cool, and stands in a forest?
“A deer in a leather jacket.”

“I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why (y).”

“I sometimes feel like the 5th wheel in my family. Which, of course, is the steering wheel.”

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Why has no skeleton ever jumped from a really tall building?
“They ain’t got the balls.”

Why don’t fish play basketball?
“They have issues with the net.”

What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?
“A washing machine.”

“I love vegan food! It makes an excellent side dish to any meat!”

“I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today. His name is Brocko Lee.”

Dad Joke Of The Day

Dad Joke Of The Day

How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
“Who wants to know?”

“I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.”

Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?
“It was Chewie.”

Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
“They just wash up on shore.”

When does a joke become a “dad joke”?
“When it becomes apparent.”

Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
“They just wash up on shore.”

What invention allows us to see through walls?
“Windows.”

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What is the most popular fish in the ocean?
“A starfish.”

“Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.”

What’s a vampire’s favorite ship?
“A blood vessel.”

Best Dad Jokes That Are Clever

Best Dad Jokes That Are Clever

Why are balloons so expensive?
“Inflation.”

 What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
“Nacho cheese!”

“I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.” 

What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
“They’re both Paris sites.”

How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
“You follow the fresh prints.”

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
“In case they get a hole in one!”

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
“Sofishticated.”

Related: Dirty Winter Jokes For Adults That Are Brrr-illiant

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
“Pilgrims.”

“I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”

“Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”

I hope these dad jokes are fun for you and you can enjoy them with your friends, family, and dad especially.

Moreover, check out these jokes, riddles, and memes on food, love, animal, and holiday to get more ideas to suit different moods and situations.

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