Here are Halloween dad jokes, puns, and one-liners to have a fun time with your dads and kids.
These Halloween jokes on dads for adults and kids can even put the best dad jokes Halloween to shame and make you lol!
So, whether you are short of dirty Halloween puns & jokes or looking for fresh jokes this holiday season on Halloween these jokes and puns can be a good help.
Have fun with your family and friends by sharing some dirty, funny, and naughty jokes this festive season.
Table of Contents
Best Halloween Dad Jokes, Riddles, & Puns 2024
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
“Neck-tarine.”
What do Italian ghosts have for dinner?
“Boo-ghetti!”
Why can’t ghosts lie?
“Because you can see right through them.”
What does a skeleton say before eating?
“Bone appetit!”
Which monster loves to dance?
“The Boogieman!”
What do witches eat for lunch?
“Sand-witches.”
What types of TVs are in haunted houses?
“Wide scream TVs.”
Why are mummies good employees?
“They get wrapped up in their work.”
Why do skeletons hate parties?
“They have no-body to dance with.”
How does a scarecrow drink his juice?
“With a straw!”
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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”
How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern.”
Why are graveyards so noisy?
“Because of all the coffin.”
How do you get rid of demons?
“Exorcise a lot.”
I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern?
“More like crack-o-lantern!”
Where do ghosts go on vacation?
“Mali-boo.”
“I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.”
Why don’t I like Dracula?
“He’s a pain in the neck.”
Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
“Because they have spirit.”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
“Bamboo.”
What kind of monster is the best dancer?
“The boogieman.”
What is a witch’s favorite class?
“Spelling!”
What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
“A poultrygeist.”
Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs?
“Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.”
How do monsters like their eggs?
“Terror-fried.”
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Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party?
“Because it was grounded.”
Who are the werewolf’s cousins?
“The what-wolf and then when-wolf.”
Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?
“He was too wrapped up in himself.”
Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
“Because she had bad blood.”
What is a ghost’s favorite meal?
“Spook-ghetti.”
What do witches use on their hair?
“Scare-spray.”
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
“So they can keep their ghoulish figures.”
The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
“A coffin.”
What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
“A grave problem.”
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
“Because he has a Hallo-weenie.”
What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
“Vanishing Cream!”
“Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.”
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“The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.”
How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern…”
What is a recess at a mortuary called?
“A Coffin Break!”
“The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.”
Where does Dracula keep his money?
“In a blood bank.”
How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night?
“Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!”
“The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn’t have one.”
Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?
“They’re all size S.”
“I wanted to tell a skeleton pun, but I don’t have the guts for it.”
What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth?
“Fang-shui”
Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery?
“Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.”
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Why wouldn’t the barman get the ghost a drink?
“Because they didn’t serve spirits.”
What do you call two witches living together?
“Broommates”
Why do witches make great wives?
“Because they promise a wonderful hex life.”
What did the witch say to her new husband?
“Take a good look, it’s the only time you’ll see me holding a broom.”
How do two skeletons have s*x?
“By boning all night long.”
Why do skeletons enjoy s*x with dainty women?
“They like to bone a petite.”
How do skeletons make babies?
“They b0ne.”
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Why don’t witches have babies?
“Their husbands have crystal balls.”
What’s unique about s*x with vampires?
“They only come at night.”
What is a vampire’s favorite part of s*x?
“Edraculating”
What happens when two vampires meet?
“It’s love at first bite!”
Why can’t the ghost have any children?
“He has a Halloweenie.”
Why are male ghosts attracted to female ghosts?
“Because of their boo-bies.”
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How do vampires get around on Halloween?
“On blood vessels.”
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
“He was trying to get ahead in life.”
“The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.”
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
“All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.”
What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
“Spooktacles.”
What can you catch from a vampire in winter?
“Frostbite.”
Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
“He had no body to go with.”
Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
“Any old friend he could dig up!”
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What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
“Rice Creepies.”
Where do ghosts go on holidays?
“The Boohamas.”
What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
“Snap, Cackle & Pop!”
What did one ghost say to the other?
“Get a life!”
Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
“Bootiques.”
How do you know vampires love baseball?
“They turn into bats every night.”
Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
“The Dead Sea!”
“The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.”
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
“Because a dog was after his bones!”
I hope these Halloween dad jokes and puns for kids or adults are able to turn you and others into laughter instantly.
Moreover, you can check out these jokes and puns on animals, food, and love to have an amazing collection of jokes for any situation under your belly.
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