The holiday season is the best time of the year because you get to spend quality time with your family.
And it’s a time for tons of joy and laughter with family at the dinner table therefore, here are funny Christmas jokes for family.
Also, this is another way to keep your family entertained this holiday by sharing cute Christmas jokes, Santa jokes for kids at your family‘s, or Christmas Eve dinner.
Table of Contents
Short Funny Christmas Jokes For Family 2023
How many gifts can Santa squeeze in an empty stocking?
“One. It’s not empty after the first one.”
“There will be no Christmas anymore. I told Santa that you have been good the whole year. He died of laughter.”
9 out of 10 turkeys recommend a steak at Christmas.
“Let’s face it. Santa clearly prefers children of rich parents.”
Guess what I got for Christmas!
No idea, tell me!
Well, do you see that Audi parked down there?
OMG… It looks so cool!
Yeah, doesn’t it? And that is the exact color of the sweat pants I got!
What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time?
A Holly Davidson.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart… well – that was the end of me…no one survives without a heart.
One turkey asks another, “Do you believe in life after Christmas?
Sending letters to Santa up the chimney is definitely black mail.
Related: Clean Christmas Jokes And Puns
Isn’t it embarrassing how Santa ends up having the same wrapping paper like your mum and dad.
Where would Santa hide gifts for his elves?
“In his clauset.”
Why should you never mess with Santa?
“Because he’s got a black belt.”
Where does Santa send the elves‘ wages?
“To the snow bank.”
Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?
“They hate giving away their presence.”
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
“Never fight Santa Claus. He has a black belt.”
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
“Because huskies can’t fly.”
What would you call an elf who is an excellent swimmer?
What’s the price of Santa’s sleigh?
“Nothing, it’s on the house.”
What is a correct name for an old snowman?
Mum, are we going to have Grandpa Joe for Christmas?
“No, darling, Just the turkey.”
Related: Funny Christmas Jokes For Kids
What keeps falling but never gets hurt?
I heard of a guy who shoplifted an Advent calendar. He got 24 days.
What is the equivalent of a superdeath laser gun for snowmen?
Why do storks fly south for the winter?
“Because it would take forever if they walked.”
Why do Christmas trees suck at knitting?
“They eventually drop all their needles.”
What do you get when you make a snowman really, really mad angry?
“Frothy the Snowman.”
What do snowmen do in their spare time?
“They’re just chilling.”
What is any parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Which type of donuts does Santa prefer?
“The ones with the ho-ho-hole.”
Jedi knights have an extra advantage at Christmas. They can feel the presents.
Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!
Funny Belly Laugh Christmas Jokes For Family 2023
Why does Santa take presents to children at Christmas?
“The presents won’t take themselves!”
Why is it so cold at Christmas?
“Because it’s in Decembrrrr!”
What comes at the end of Christmas day?
“The letter “Y!”
What looks like half a Christmas tree?
“The other half!”
What happened to the thief who stole an advent calendar?
“He got 25 days!”
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
“The Christmas alphabet has Noel!”
When does a reindeer have a trunk?
“When it goes on vacation!”
Where does Santa go to vote?
“The North Poll!”
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
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What does Santa use to measure?
What are elves allergic to?
Why is Santa so jolly?
“Because he knows where all the toys are!”
What does Santa get at the donut shop?
“A jolly roll!”
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
What is Santa’s dog’s name?
What do snowmen call their kids?
What do you call Santa when he doesn’t move?
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
“In the dictionary!”
What do snowmen say to one another in the morning?
“Have an ice day!”
Related: Corny Christmas Jokes
What type of dog do you get for the holidays?
What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
“Ice Krispy treats!”
Funny Christmas Jokes And Riddles For Family 2023
Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time?
How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas?
“It’ll take ages to flatten the curve.”
Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop?
“Many of his workers have had to “Elf isolate!”
How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year’s staff Christmas party?
“Put him on mute.”
Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
“They have herd immunity.”
What type of cars do elves drive?
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
Related: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
Why does Santa have three gardens?
“So he can ho, ho, ho!”
What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
“A list of everything you want!”
What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
What does Santa eat for breakfast?
How did Mrs. Claus tell Santa the weather?
“It looks like rain, dear!”
What do you call a mean reindeer?
Where does mistletoe go to get famous?
Related: Best Christmas Jokes For Teens
What nationality is Santa Claus?
What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
What do you call a greedy elf?
Funny Holiday Jokes For Christmas For Family 2023
Where did the vampire college student go clothes shopping?
What do snowmen order at fast-food restaurants?
“An iceberg-er and fries!”
What do snowmen do when they’re not feeling well?
“They take a chill pill!”
What’s a good holiday tip?
“Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.”
“I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up … they have no holidays.”
How Do Abomibable Snowmen Greet Each Other?
“Ice to see you!”
Where do snowmen go to dance?
What did frosty call his cow?
Related: Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes
What does lactose free milk wish to the world?
“Soy to the world”
On New Years, just remember: if your cup runneth over, you’ve probably reached your limit.
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
“His wife was a total flake”
What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
My New Years resolution is 1080p
Why was the snowman sad?
“Cause he had a meltdown.”
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
“It needed to be trimmed.”
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
“He has a black belt.”
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Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, “Go back to work!”
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
“Santa stops after three hos.”
Why is Santa Claus’ sack so big?
“He only comes once a year.”
Funny Long Christmas Jokes For Family 2023
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
“You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.”
Why does Drake love giving gifts?
“He’s really good at wrapping!”
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
“A cookie sheet.”
Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole?
“No well, no well.”
Where would you find a Christmas tree?
“Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four.”
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Related: Best Elf Jokes And Puns
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What’s the best Christmas present in the world?
“A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.”
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
“The Christmas alphabet has No-el.”
The three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is “Santa Claus.”
What do you call a laptop growing on your Christmas tree?
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Why did only the letter “E” get a Christmas present?
“The other letters were not E.”
What do you call a search engine that singes Christmas songs?
What’s it called when you go out to buy a piano this holiday?
I hope you have found these funny Christmas jokes for family useful enough to make them laugh.